


Kintsugi

by ephemeral_motif



Category: Dirk Gently's Holistic Detective Agency (TV 2016)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/F, First Kiss, Found Family, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Non-graphic mentions of blood and injuries, Tying up loose ends for season 2, background Farah Black/Tina Tevetino - Freeform, first fic in this fandom, mentions of blackwing, non-graphic mentions of medical procedures
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-13
Updated: 2020-09-12
Packaged: 2021-03-05 19:41:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 14
Words: 26,400
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25880776
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ephemeral_motif/pseuds/ephemeral_motif
Summary: “[The chaos] was supposed to stop once the case was solved!” Dirk said, closing his eyes tightly and tugging forcefully at his hair in despair.Though Francis was able to fix Wendimoor with a wave of his hand, things in the regular world don’t return to normal as easily. Dirk, Todd, and Farah must find ways to help each other pick up the pieces from the aftermath of Blackwing and two worlds colliding, and recovery isn’t always linear. Takes place between events featured in Season 2, Episode 10.Posting schedule: three times a week.
Relationships: Todd Brotzman/Dirk Gently
Comments: 109
Kudos: 45





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This story is the product of many wonderful and thought-provoking discussions with  
> [confused_android](https://archiveofourown.org/users/confused_android) and [penink](https://archiveofourown.org/users/penink), whose ideas have helped to take this story in lots of different fun and unexpected directions from when it was originally conceived. 
> 
> Certain aspects of this story were also inspired by the wonderful drabble collection: [Protect Icarus](https://archiveofourown.org/works/13573251).
> 
> Special thanks to the lovely [confused_android](https://archiveofourown.org/users/confused_android) for being such a magnificent beta-reader! You are so brilliant <3!

Todd sighed as he rubbed at his stinging eyes, before punching the dispense button of a coffee vending machine that looked like it had come from the ‘60s tucked in the deserted corridor just off to the side of the ER waiting rooms. Now that the adrenaline from Wendimoor encounter and the mad “amboolents” dash was starting to fade, he could feel pain building steadily behind his temples, from pressure into a full-blown headache, as well as the phantom ache from the metal rings that Suzie Boreton had used to almost crush him. The finishing beep of the vending machine encouraged him to crack open his eyes and gaze at the impending caffeine with anticipation.

“Why are  _ you  _ in hospital, Todd?” Dirk’s cheerful voice called suddenly from behind Todd’s shoulder, just as Todd picked up his coffee cup. Todd startled, spilling half the contents of his cup on the floor. “Funny sort of place for Francis to send you just to get Farah some refreshment… He must have been a bit more out of touch with reality than I thought.”

“Shit!” he cursed, wrenched a handful of paper towels from a dispenser by the vending machine, and crouched down to soak up the brown puddle that had formed between their feet. Craning his neck, Todd looked up to see Dirk leaning heavily on an oddly-shaped wooden crutch, eyes worried and free arm outstretched.

“Sorry for startling you!” Dirk said quickly, hopping a step closer. “Stupid Dirk, always forgetting that magical transportation makes for sneaking up on people! Is there anything I can do to help?”

“No, no, it’s fine,” Todd reassured, standing back up and tossing the cup and the sodden paper towels into the trash can. Turning his attention fully back on Dirk, Todd took in his rumpled hair, dirt-smeared shirt, and the dark red stain growing progressively larger down this right pant leg. “Are you OK, Dirk? How did you get here, anyway?”

“I asked Francis to drop me off with you, and I suppose he took that literally,” Dirk said with a grin, completely sidestepping the first question. “But the bigger question is: why are you getting what must barely count as coffee in the corridor by a hospital waiting room?

Todd sighed. “It’s Farah,” he said quietly. “She, Tina, and Hobbs were all shot while dealing with the Mage. I managed to get them here, and they’ve just been taken into surgery, but the nurses tell me that it’ll be hours before we hear anything.”

“Farah,” Dirk whispered in horror, his eyes filling with tears as he stumbled back into the wall and slid down into a ball with his knees to his chest. “It was supposed to stop once the case was solved!” he said, closing his eyes tightly and tugging forcefully at his hair in despair. 

Todd blinked in surprise at Dirk’s volatile reaction, before edging slowly toward him, folding himself to sit cross-legged beside the detective. He picked up the Panic Pete stress toy that had appeared where Dirk had discarded the crutch, and propped it up on one of Dirk’s knees. “Hey, it’s OK to be scared of the news, Dirk. I know I am, too,” Todd said. “At least the nurses said that they were hopeful, going in.”

“No, this isn’t me  _ scared _ ,” Dirk said, opening his eyes again and fixing Todd with a determined frown. “Thank you for trying to make me feel better, but that’s not enough. I need to get out of here.” He picked up Mona and stood with a wince as she obligingly turned back into a crutch, before starting to hobble toward the hospital exit. 

“What? Wait!” Todd cried after Dirk, rushing forward to stop him with an arm at his elbow. “You’re hurt, Dirk. We need to get a doctor to look at your leg!”

“That isn’t important right now,” Dirk retorted, shaking him off and continuing on through the automatic doors into the parking lot. “I can’t be here right now, and if you really want to help, then you can drive.”

Todd balked in surprise. “Is this a holistic thing?” he said, before throwing his hands up in the air as Dirk kept going without answering. He sighed before catching up with Dirk and pointed to where the amboolents was parked. “Which way are we going?”

\---

Todd glanced at Dirk from the corner of his eyes as they drove toward the outskirts of Bergsberg. The detective had curled up as soon as he climbed into the passenger seat, his hands tightly gripping the yellow leather jacket around his shoulders that was Mona’s current form, and he was now staring away from Todd with his head propped against the window.

“It’s been half an hour, Dirk,” Todd said eventually, breaking the tense silence. “Can we talk about this? What’s going on?”

“Stop the car,” said Dirk, without turning to look at Todd.

“What, now?” said Todd in alarm, taking his eyes off the road to steal glimpses at Dirk. “But — ” 

“Please,” whispered Dirk, squeezing his eyes shut. 

Relenting, Todd pulled over to the soft shoulder of the highway. He startled as Dirk immediately opened the door and hobbled off the road to sit in the grass to the side of the highway. Cautiously, Todd got out of the door himself, feeling a wave of déjà vu at the familiarity of their stopping place, before he rounded the car and stepped toward Dirk.

You should go back,” Dirk said, meeting Todd’s gaze for the first time since the hospital. “Go check on Farah, I’ll be fine here.”

“What? Where’s this coming from?” Todd demanded, confused. “I’m not going to just leave you and Mona here alone in some ditch by some random field!”

“Just go away!” Dirk cried, shrugging out of Mona’s jacket and tossing her toward Todd as he tried to step closer. “I’m trying to protect you.”

“I’m not going anywhere until you tell me what this is about,” Todd retorted, catching Mona easily as she turned back into a stress toy, and tucked her into his jacket pocket. At Dirk’s continued silence, Todd paused, then crouched slowly so that he was eye-level with Dirk and raised his own hands placatingly. “You’re not going to be fine just bleeding out in the middle of nowhere, Dirk. Please just let me help you?”

“It’s  _ your  _ safety you should be worried about,” Dirk replied. “It wasn’t safe for me to be at the hospital — Farah, Tina, and the Sheriff have a better chance if I’m not there — and you’re not safe here with me.”

“What do you mean?” Todd said, frowning, bewildered. “There’s nobody here.” 

Dirk averted his gaze, choosing instead to pick at the hole in his pant leg. “Everywhere I go, death and destruction just follow, and I can never get ahead of it,” he said eventually. “I thought that after I solved the case, things would get better, but I still can’t control it. I can’t stop the bad things from happening, and I can’t keep you out of the blast radius if you stay close to me.”

Todd gaped, speechless. “Dirk — ” he started. 

“You were  _ this close _ to being crushed to death by magic rings, Todd!” Dirk interrupted angrily, raising his hand in front of Todd’s face with his fingers a hair’s breadth apart. “If we were a minute slower, you would have died! And just look at what happened to Farah! We still don’t know if she’s — ”

“Hey, it was a close call, but I’m fine, I promise,” Todd said, ignoring the steady pounding of his headache as he moved to sit shoulder-to-shoulder with Dirk. “And I know what happened to Farah is terrifying — I’m worried too — but she’s strong, right? She’ll make it through this too, I know she will.”

“You don’t know that!” Dirk spat, shifting away with tears in his eyes. “Even if she does somehow recover fully, she wouldn’t have been hurt at all if it weren’t for me. And what about the next time? And what about you?

“You know, you’re such a good brother to Amanda that you’ve put up with being friends with this monster just to try and find her,” he continued, pointing jerkily at himself before using the same hand to pull out a blood-stained thread from his pants with a grimace, “and you’re such a good friend that you’ll follow me and take care of me even though I ruined your life! But look, you’ve got her back now, and there’s nothing left here that could possibly benefit you. 

“You were right — I do deserve to be alone. And… and you’d be  _ much  _ better off just going back to Farah and forgetting me.”

Todd took a shuddering breath, heart heavy with guilt at the words that he had spoken under stress and frustration months ago thrown back at him in this way. “Dirk — ” he began, before pausing to gather his thoughts on how best to frame his response.

“You’re not a monster, Dirk, and you never ruined my life,” Todd said. “I’m really sorry I said those things to you before. I lashed out at you then because it had made me feel that everything we had done together up to that point was a lie. But I didn’t really mean any of it.”

“But you were right — ” Dirk said.

“No, I wasn’t,” Todd countered firmly. “Because what happened then wasn’t your fault, and what’s happened now isn’t your fault either. You didn’t cause any of this destruction.”

Dirk smiled bitterly. “None of it would have happened if I wasn’t there,” he said, raising his eyebrows.

“You don’t know that,” Todd said. “Look, man, Suzie Boreton was off the deep end — she would totally have done something else just as terrible if you weren’t here. And you helped to stop her from hurting more people.”

He shifted closer to Dirk, putting a hand on his shoulder. “All of that is just what-ifs,” he continued, “but you know what I do know  _ is  _ true? Everything that I told you at the concert. Back when I was working at the hotel, nothing mattered. For years, I was just going through the motions, trying to make ends meet for Amanda. 

“But then you showed up, and — yes, there was a lot of death, a lot of destruction, and a lot of near misses — but we also saw so many incredible things, traveled through time, and saved Lydia’s life while doing that. During that week, something clicked, you know? I got to glimpse the connections between everything that you keep talking about, and I felt more alive than I had in years!” he exclaimed, his smile cutting off Dirk’s next objection. 

“You brought meaning and purpose to my life,” he said finally. “And not just me! Amanda hadn’t left the house in years before you arrived. Then you came and helped nudge her out the door. And now she’s saving the world with crazy magic powers!”

Dirk smiled. “Amanda’s fantastic,” he said fondly. 

“You asked the right questions and started it all, Dirk,” Todd said. “And you inspired me to be straight with her. Even ignoring everything else, I’ll always be grateful for that.”

They sat in silence for several minutes, Todd watching with bated breath the flurry of expressions that flashed across Dirk’s face as he absorbed what had been said. “That’s very kind of you to say,” Dirk said finally with a rueful smile. “I appreciate your assessment, even if I can’t agree with it fully. And it doesn’t negate the danger that all of you are in because of me.” 

“Crazy things do always tend to happen  _ near _ you,” Todd corrected. “But I think that the Rowdy 3 have the right idea on this one. We have to stick together and help each other to get through it all. 

“I get it if you need to take a breather for a bit. But I need you, and Farah needs you. So please don’t turn your back on us, OK?”

Dirk huffed exasperatedly. “But I’m just useless — ”

“Let me be the judge of how ‘useful’ you are,” Todd said dismissively, waving a hand as Dirk looked at him with an unreadable expression. “You matter to me, and that’s gotta mean more than what some guy at Blackwing might have said to you in the past. Besides, we’re all a little bit useless… except Farah — she’s like the opposite of useless. 

“But, my point still stands.” He pulled Mona back out of his pocket, and offered her to Dirk with eyebrows raised. “I want your help. Will you help me?” 

Dirk gasped softly, eyes widening at the familiarity of his own plea turned back at him. He reached out slowly to take Panic Pete Mona back into his hands, and whispered, “OK.” 

“OK?” Todd said hesitantly, his gape morphing into a grin as he realized Dirk’s meaning. “OK! Yes, OK!” He launched himself at Dirk with a burst of laughter, and pitched them both into the grass. Dirk landed with a pained yelp, and Todd broke the hug immediately, feeling his face heat up as he clambered back with a gasp and avoided Dirk’s eyes. “Oh no, I’m so sorry!”

“It’s fine,” Dirk replied shakily, his own cheeks reddening as he raised himself to his elbows with a wince. “I appreciate your excitement. No harm done.” He accepted Todd’s outstretched hand, and let himself be pulled up to his feet. 

Dirk gasped in surprise as they turned together to face back toward the amboolents. “Is that the — ” he said.

“‘The Infant, Male, Pollock, Francis,’ yes,” Todd replied with a smile, his hand steadying Dirk by the elbow as they shuffled back toward the car. “You did mention that you wanted to see it.” 

“It’s just so wonderfully impossible!” Dirk exclaimed, waving his free arm at the weather-worn boat, stranded in the middle of the field on the other side of the road. “Maybe we were meant to come by here after all.”

“Maybe we were,” said Todd with a smile, before poking Dirk lightly in his arm. “Now can we please get your leg patched up?”

Dirk shrugged with a tilt of his head and a raise of his eyebrows. “Well, it really is getting a bit sore...”

“OK, let’s go,” Todd said, opening up the passenger door for Dirk and helping him maneuver back inside.

Dirk beamed with wonder. “What did I do to deserve you?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter: a detour, and some Todd and Mona bonding.


	2. Chapter 2

Dirk gasped from the passenger seat just as the car turned the bend and the hospital came into view, and he gripped Todd’s elbow firmly. “I can’t go back yet,” he said with unease clouding his voice.

Todd, sighed, exasperated. "This again? But your leg — ”

“It’s a hunch,” Dirk insisted. “The universe is telling me that I shouldn’t go back to the hospital yet.”

“But we need to do something about that wound,” Todd said, glancing uneasily at the stain on Dirk’s pant leg, which was twice the size that it had been when they first left the hospital. “You’re going to bleed out or something if we just leave it.”

Dirk furrowed his brow for a second, before saying, “If we can find the chemists — the pharmacy, I mean — then I think we’ll be able to find everything we need for me to patch myself up.” 

“Are you sure that’s going to work?” Todd asked uneasily. “So many things could go wrong with that.”

To Todd’s surprise, Dirk smiled back. “Relax, Todd,” he assured him. “It’s not the first time I’ve had to do something like this. It’ll be a piece of cake once we’ve got what we need.”

\---

“You should probably go in there without me,” Dirk said as Todd pulled into a parking spot across the street from the local pharmacist in downtown Bergsberg. He handed over Mona, who had obligingly taken the form of a miniature whiteboard displaying the list of supplies that Dirk had scrawled hastily during the drive. “I’d probably just slow you down with my hobbling at this point.”

“This is crazy,” Todd said, shaking his head as he looked through the list. “Is this really going to cut it?”

“If you find everything, then we’ll be much better stocked this time than I was that one time in Chicago,” Dirk said with a shrug. “There was a bit with a fence, and then I had to make do with some cheap vodka and duct tape.”

“That is not at all reassuring,” Todd retorted wryly.

“Well, I also have you here this time,” Dirk said. “That automatically improves on any situation.”

Todd felt his face warming again. “OK, I’ll just go and get this over with,” he said, clutching tightly as he stepped out of the car. “Call me if you need anything while I’m gone.”   
  


“Relax, I’ll be fine,” Dirk reassured him. “Thank you for doing this.”

Todd blew out a large breath as he turned away from the car, his thoughts racing. His heart was still pounding with unease at Dirk’s new request of avoiding the hospital, and Dirk’s apparently cavalier attitude at the prospect of pulling out a bullet from himself did little to assure Todd’s own shaken nerves. 

“This is different from before, right?” Todd said, holding out Mona’s whiteboard form out in front of him, more to comfort himself than expecting an answer. “Dirk’s not doing this to push himself away from us again, right?”

He jumped slightly as he saw words form below the list that Dirk had written in small, green looping letters that were so unlike Dirk’s jagged scrawl.

_ I don’t know _

Mona’s words lingered for a few seconds, before they wiped themselves clean in the board and were replaced by new words:

_ I don’t know why he’s keeping us away _

_ I missed him for ages and ages and only just found him again _

Todd sighed. He glanced up briefly to check that no one was looking at him as he appeared to be talking at a whiteboard in the middle of the street, before turning his attention fully back to Mona.

“Look, I’m not sure either, to be honest,” he admitted with a frown. “It’s just — things have been really crazy these last few days. And lots of people have gotten hurt and killed--including our friends. And Blackwing on top of all that probably just made everything worse. It’s been a lot, and maybe it’s just getting too much for him. I know that it’s been a lot for me.” 

Mona’s previous words disappeared from the whiteboard, replaced by a cartoon of a sad face drawn in blue ink. 

Todd winced. “Things should get better, though,” he said, trying to reassure himself as much as her. “We managed to save Wendimoor, and our friend Farah managed to stop the Mage over here. We just need to lie low for a bit and keep out of that creepy guy Priest’s way — ”

Mona shuddered so violently in Todd’s hands that he almost lost his grip and fumbled her. 

_ WE HAVE TO HIDE FROM MR. PRIEST,  _ she wrote in sharp, frantic letters appearing in blood red. 

“It’s OK, I don’t think he’s close,” Todd said quickly. “He was chasing us earlier at the Cardenas house — which is miles away from here — but we managed to lose him when we got to Wendimoor. I don’t think he’ll know to look for us here.”

Mona’s words disappeared, but Todd could still feel her shaking slightly in his grip.

“I won’t let them take you and Dirk away again,” Todd promised. “And both of us will be here to help Dirk get better. We just need to pick up this stuff from the store to do it.”

_ OK :) _ , came Mona’s reply, the letters colored in green once more. The words disappeared as Todd resumed walking toward the pharmacy, before being replaced by:  _ You’re a brave friend. _

“Thanks,” Todd said with a smile as he opened the door to the shop. A bell tinkled above, and Todd was greeted with a cheerful “Afternoon, son!” from an elderly gentleman standing behind the counter on the left. Todd nodded curtly in the shopkeeper’s direction, picking up a plastic basket from the corner before hurrying through the shelves to pick up the items. 

“Rubbing alcohol… gauze… band-aid… sewing kit… gloves… scissors… pliers,” Todd muttered as he dropped each item into the basket. Reaching the end of the list, he rolled his eyes in exasperation as he noted the obvious things missing from Dirk’s list. “Trust him to forget minor details like food or drink after running around all day without either, not to mention painkillers, _ ”  _ he continued, wincing at the steady throbbing behind his own temples. 

He paused as he reached the shelf of painkillers, his thoughts suddenly turning to Amanda. They had parted in Wendimoor on better terms than Todd had been with his sister for months, but her departure had been so sudden that there was no time to say goodbye. And with no word from her since then, Todd’s growing unease churned his stomach uncomfortably.

Taking a deep breath, Todd pulled out the old flip-style burner phone that Farah had given him and typed out a quick text to Amanda:    
  
_ hey its todd. hope u made it bak ok _

His thumb wavered over the send button for several seconds before he pressed it with a grimace, and then he frowned in confusion as the message was sent without registering the delivery confirmation.

“She’s fine, she’s fine, she’s fine… She’s got the Rowdy 3 with her,” Todd muttered to himself, clinging to his phone with a white-knuckle grip as he paced the aisle awaiting a delivery confirmation notice that did not appear. “She probably just ran out of battery or broke her phone in Wendimoor or something.” 

He sighed after three rounds of inconclusive pacing, jamming his phone back into his pocket as he tried to quell his panic over not knowing where she was nor having any way to reach her. “Let’s focus on what we can do and get this over with.” 

He threw a bottle of aspirin into the basket and grabbed three cartons of chocolate milk from the deli fridge before stalking towards the main counter.

“Find everything you were looking for, son?” the old shop clerk said with a smile.

“Yes, thanks,” Todd said curtly, setting the basket onto the counter between them.

The shop clerk stroked his graying goatee slowly as he looked down at the contents in the basket, then raised his eyebrow and peered at Todd over his horn-rimmed glasses. “Now, this is just a hunch of mine, son, but I don’t think you found what you were really looking for, am I right?”

Todd blinked in bemusement. “Uh — sorry — what do you mean?”

Instead of answering directly, the old man crouched down behind the counter and started rifling through the contents of a cabinet. After several minutes of dull thumps and shuffling papers, the clerk reappeared with a stretch, before placing a black, rectangular fabric case onto the counter. “This is what you really need, right?” he said, sliding the case closer to Todd.

Todd blinked at the words  _ SUTURE KIT  _ neatly embroidered into the case’s upper left corner in white thread before meeting the clerk’s eyes in surprise. “That’s — that’s actually perfect, thank you,” he said. “How did you know?”

“Oh, I spent a few years as an EMT back in the 70s just before pharmacy school and saw some pretty unusual stuff,” the clerk said as he rang up and bagged all of the purchases. “Seeing what you have in your basket, and seeing that ‘Amboolents’ that you climbed out of across the street — it’s not hard to just put together two and two. I hope your friend will be OK.”

Todd blew out a deep breath. “Well, this will definitely help,” he replied, marveling at their good luck as he passed the clerk a stack of notes. “Thank you so much for going the extra mile.”

“Don’t mention it, son,” the clerk replied. “You take care, now.”

Todd nodded with a smile as he picked up the purchases and shuffled out of the door. As soon as the shop door closed behind him, he cracked open the aspirin bottle and dry-swallowed two tablets for his headache before heading back to Dirk. Jogging quickly to the back of the amboolents, he popped open the back door and tossed the bag of purchases inside. “Looks like the universe is smiling on us, this time, Dirk!” he announced. “The store had a real suture kit, so we won’t have to make do with your jury-rigged version… Dirk?”

Hearing no response, Todd’s heart sank with worry as he scrambled around to the passenger-side door. Dirk was leaning against the door with his temple propped against the window, his eyes closed and his skin looking even paler than usual. The dark red stain on his right leg had grown so much that it had started to stain the seat cushion below. He slumped a bit further as Todd opened the door, and Todd rushed to catch him by the shoulder before he toppled out of the car. Mona morphed into the form of a small, black puppy, jumped into Dirk’s lap, and began licking at his face.

“I’m awake,” Dirk muttered as he startled suddenly and sat rigidly upright, blinking owlishly at Todd. “What’s going on?”

“You tell me,” Todd retorted with concern. “What happened? Are you OK?!”

“Oh, I’m fine. I must have just dozed off for a bit,” Dirk replied lightly, scratching Mona’s puppy form behind her ears.

Todd frowned at Dirk, unimpressed by his nonchalant dismissal, before reaching back into one of the shopping bags, pulling out a carton of chocolate milk, and pressing it into Dirk’s hands. “Drink all of that now,” Todd said. “You might think you’re fine, but you’ve lost a lot of blood and are probably dehydrated on top of that from running around all day and not having anything to eat or drink since breakfast.”

“Thanks, Todd,” Dirk said with a smile before opening the carton and taking a sip. “Will you drink some, too? You probably haven’t had anything all day either.”

“There’s one for each of us,” Todd replied, pulling out the other two cartons and putting one of them before Mona. She leapt off from Dirk’s lap and transformed into her human form, before picking up the carton and smiling at Todd shyly. 

“Thanks for getting one for me too,” Mona said. “Chocolate is my favorite.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter: a development with Amanda, and Dirk shows how good with a needle and thread he is.
> 
> \--
> 
> Thanks to all of you who commented and left kudos so far! Every one of them fills me with such joy :).


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Content Warning: this chapter is probably as gorey as the story gets, with mentions of blood and some minor DIY surgery. If for whatever reason that doesn't work for you, then please stop reading at the line: 
> 
> "Opening his eyes again, Todd stepped out of the amboolents and made his way to join Dirk inside."

After some debate, Todd and Dirk ended up opting to return to Sheriff Hobbs’s house rather than the police station, even though it was farther away from the pharmacy (Todd had reasoned that the cleaner bathroom was worth the longer trip). The drive was a relatively quiet one, punctuated only by Dirk’s twenty-seven-point argument expounding why chocolate milk was the best beverage of choice as Todd nodded along. Mona had taken to being her own carton of chocolate milk — identical in every respect to the one that she had finished — and was sitting clutched in Dirk’s grip on his lap.

The phone in Todd’s pocket began to ring just as he pulled the amboolents into the driveway of Hobbs’s house, startling Todd with a jolt and interrupting Dirk as he had started to explain point twenty-six. 

Todd cursed as he strained to pull out his phone while pulling the handbrake and turning off the engine at the same time. “Hello?” he said distractedly as he whipped the phone to his ear without looking at the caller ID. 

“Todd!” came Amanda’s voice from the tinny speaker. “I’m so glad this is working! My phone got waterlogged earlier, but I managed to fix it, and I just saw your text.” 

“Amanda!” Todd exclaimed with a laugh, feeling a flood of relief as he exchanged a grin with Dirk. “What a relief! Where are you? Are you OK?”

“Yeah, we’re all fine,” she said. “The six of us showed up at the Cardenas motel. We got our van back in one piece, and we’re back on the road. But listen, Todd. We’ve gone out of town to lay low for a few days because Bergsberg is still crawling with Blackwing. The boys said that they could sense them close by, and we definitely saw some military-looking guys by the hospital as we drove past.”

“Shit,” Todd whispered, reeling at their own apparent near miss with Blackwing, courtesy of Dirk’s hunch-inspired detour. “Farah’s still at the hospital — they’re bound to find out that she’s there, right? That’s not good. Also, wait, six? How are there six of you now?” 

“Todd, don’t fuss,” Amanda admonished. “How many of us there are doesn’t really matter right now. We’ll be ok. I’ve got a way to make sure that no one tracks us. More importantly, though what’s wrong with Farah? Why is she at the hospital?” 

“She got shot earlier when she was defeating the Mage,” Todd explained quickly. “She went into surgery a few hours ago, and we don’t know how she is yet.”

“Todd,” Dirk said softly. “I need to — ”

“I can’t right now, Dirk,” Todd interrupted. “I need to finish talking to Amanda.”

“Sure,” Dirk said with a quick nod, lowering his eyes as he opened the door. “I’ll just — ” He gestured his head outside as he grabbed the bag of shopping from the back of the amboolents, and he slid out of his seat, making his way toward the house.

“I’ll be there soon,” Todd called after his retreating form, before turning his attention back to Amanda. “If Blackwing is still in the area, they might still be looking for us,” he said. “We can’t let them get to Farah, and we can’t let them find us. We’ve got to come up with a plan to shake them off. And you’ve got targets on your back too! How do you know that you’ll be safe with the Rowdy 3 when Blackwing’s after them too?”

“Back off, Todd,” Amanda snapped. “I’m not five anymore, and I can take care of myself. I know what I’m doing.”

“But how are you so sure that they won’t be able to track you?” Todd protested.

“Let’s just say that I’ve got a magic ace up my sleeve,” Amanda replied cryptically. “Trust me, OK? I’m more worried about you. Are you and Dirk safe?”

“I think we’re fine for now,” Todd said. “I don’t think anyone would think to look for us where we are currently, but we’ll need to ditch our, uh, conspicuous-looking car. The bigger issue is Farah. We can’t let them get to her.”

“She should be safe while she’s in surgery,” Amanda said. “I don’t think the doctors will just let anyone in there. And once she’s able to travel, we can come up with a longer-term solution to this then.”

“I don’t know how that’s going to work,” said Todd with a sigh. “We’re still on the FBI’s most wanted list. We’re not going to be able to hide forever when we’ve got targets on us like that.” 

“Dude, chill!” said Amanda. “From what I saw when we went by there, Blackwing seemed to be focusing on the hospital itself — they weren’t looking much beyond the building. So maybe they aren’t actively searching for us. If they aren’t coming after us, then with some luck, we should be able to sneak Farah out when she’s well enough. We’ll come up with something.” 

“I hope you’re right,” Todd replied reluctantly. 

“I’m always right, and don’t forget it,” Amanda said. “In the meantime, lay low and take care of yourself. I’ll call you as soon as I’m back in town.”

“OK, fine, if you say so,” Todd said. He hesitated, before working up the courage to say: “love you, sis.”

“Love you too, loser,” she replied after a pause. “Say hi to Dirk for me.” 

Todd took a deep breath and closed his eyes as Amanda hung up. His relief at finding that his sister was safe was tempered by the unease at the prospect of Blackwing’s continued pursuit. He shuddered at the memory of Mr. Priest’s chilling taunts at the Cardenas house and how paralyzed with fear Dirk had been just at the sound of his voice. He didn’t want to think about what would have happened if they were even a second slower at finding the portal to Wendimoor, and he couldn’t contemplate the prospect of having to face that monster again. 

“The Cardenas House is half an hour’s drive from here,” Todd muttered to himself in reassurance. “If they were actively looking for us, they would have already found us in town. They’re probably still at the house. There’s no way that they’d know to look for us here.”

He massaged his temples slowly, trying to relieve the headache that the aspirin eased but did not completely quell. “Pull yourself together, Todd,” he said more firmly. “Dirk needs you now, and that’s the most urgent fire to put out. We can worry about the other stuff later.”

Opening his eyes again, Todd stepped out of the amboolents and made his way to join Dirk inside.

\---

Upon opening the front door, Todd was greeted with the sound of a muffled wail coming from the bathroom in the back of the house. Passing Hobbs’s large orange cat, who glared balefully at him as she scampered into the bedroom, Todd hurried toward the source of the sound. As he turned the corner, he saw through the open door Dirk perched on the toilet seat, a square of cloth cut and taped away from the wound on his thigh, and Mona in human form on her knees beside him holding the bottle of antiseptic solution and a square of gauze. There was a sheen of sweat on his forehead, and his face looked extra pale from blood loss and pain, further bleached by the harsh fluorescent light above the bathroom mirror. He was biting down on a hand towel, grimacing with tears in his eyes and breathing rapidly as he tugged at the lump of metal that was currently half protruding from his thigh with a pair of pliers. With one final wrench, he dislodged the bullet with a cry, and Mona hurriedly pressed the gauze into the wound to stem the fresh stream of blood.

After several seconds standing transfixed and horrified at the bathroom door, Todd cleared his throat and said, “How’s it going?”

Dirk looked up in surprise, before his features relaxed into a pained smile as he spat out the cloth in his mouth. “Todd, you came,” he said hoarsely, flicking his head slightly to shift a stray lock of hair out of his eyes, and Todd resisted the sudden urge to reach out to Dirk and tuck it behind his ear. “I’m sorry for interrupting you and Amanda earlier. You didn’t need to get off the phone with her. Is she all right?”   
  


“She and the Rowdy 3 are back and safe,” Todd said, “but — ”

“Oh, that’s such a relief to hear,” Dirk said with a smile as he reached for a roll of tissue, soaking it in the antiseptic solution before he waved Mona aside and started dabbing it at the wound with a wince. “It was unsettling that you got scattered all over coming out of Wendimoor so soon after reuniting. I’m glad that she’s alright and that hopefully you’ll see each other again soon.”

“Yeah, me too,” Todd said, rolling his eyes at Dirk’s attempt to change the subject. “And how are things  _ here _ ?”

“Well the bullet’s a bit bent and worse for wear,” Dirk said, holding up the fragment of warped metal with the pliers to show Todd, “but I suppose that’s to be expected after being exploded at high speed. On the other hand, the leg is faring decently, given the circumstances. The bullet was kind enough to have avoided the largest blood vessels during its visit.”

“Well, that’s something,” Todd replied with a sigh, his stomach turning queasily as his gaze flipped between the bloody bullet and the antiseptic-and-blood-soaked tissue in Dirk’s other hand. “Is there anything I can do to help?”

“Oh, you don’t have to worry about me,” Dirk said quickly, putting the scissors to the side and looking back down at his leg. “There’s lots of better things to do, and it’s all under control here.” 

Todd frowned in confusion at this dismissal. Was Dirk feeling uncomfortable with Todd’s squeamishness? “Dirk, I want to help, OK?” he assured, bracing himself. “I don’t have anything better to do.”

Dirk glanced up, meeting Todd’s eyes with a flurry of rapidly shifting expressions, before he looked back down. “In that case, could you please pass me the suture kit from over there?” he asked, nodding his head to the side to gesture before breaking into a grin. “What a lucky find that was!”

“Yeah, the pharmacist was really unsettling,” Todd said as he unzipped and opened the case, holding it out to Dirk.

Their fingers brushed as Dirk reached over to take the case, and Todd held his breath as Dirk jerked back slightly, then froze as if electrified, staring at his hand with wide eyes. With a blink, the moment passed, as Dirk shook his head slightly and pulled out the forceps and an individually wrapped pack of sterile pre-threaded needle and suture thread, leaving Todd gaping at him.

“Dirk — ” 

“This should just take a few moments,” Dirk said, sucking his breath in and keeping his eyes fixed on his own hands as he unwrapped the packaging from the needle and thread, picking up the needle by the forceps. 

Todd winced and looked away from the wound as Dirk began to close it, starting from the tissue deep in the leg and working progressively out, his mind racing as he fixed his gaze on the pained frown creasing Dirk’s brow and the tension in Dirk’s jaw as he bit his lip. This new reticence from Dirk felt different to Todd from his earlier attempts to push Todd away out by the highway. And hadn’t they resolved that? Was Dirk now mad at him for some reason?

“All done, easy!” Dirk announced after several minutes of heavy silence, and Todd looked down to see a surprisingly neat row of stitches expertly sewn in black thread.

“How does it feel?” He asked, setting aside his misgivings briefly as Mona kneeled back in front Dirk’s legs and dabbed at the stitches with another piece of antiseptic-soaked gauze, before applying a large bandage to cover the patched-up injury. 

“Much better now that that’s sorted,” Dirk replied, crumpling the used tissues into the waste bin and turning on the sink to wash the metal instruments. “Thank you both for helping.” 

“I’m glad to help, Dirk,” Mona said, hugging him tightly around the neck before she morphed into a rainbow-colored friendship bracelet around his wrist.

“Wait, what about your arm?” Todd said, pointing at the red gash near Dirk’s shoulder.

“Oh, I’d forgot about that,” Dirk mused as he unbuttoned the top three buttons of his shirt and gingerly eased out of his right sleeve, contorting awkwardly to peer at the wound. “Well, it’s not bleeding anymore, and I’m not nearly as handy with my left hand at stitching… might be easiest to just slap a bandage on it and call it done.” He picked up another piece of gauze, doused it in antiseptic solution, and wiped at the cut before unpeeling and sticking an extra-large sized bandaid over it. “Thank you, Todd,” Dirk continued, glancing back at him as he slipped back into the shirt and started redoing the buttons. “Thanks for coming and staying even though you didn’t have to.”

“It was the least I could do,” Todd said with a shrug. He paused a moment, debating whether to bring up the silent exchange that passed between them earlier during the case exchange, before taking a breath and asking, “Can we talk about what happened earlier?”

Dirk raised an eyebrow questioningly. “What do you mean?”

“You know… when our fingers… ” Todd began, before losing steam at the sight of Dirk’s increasingly confused expression. Had he just imagined things? “You know what, never mind. Why don’t you get cleaned up, and I can call the hospital to see how Farah and the others are doing.”

Flustered, he rushed out of the bathroom and closed the door behind him before Dirk could say another word.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Amanda manages to fix her phone via her wand, but she wants to keep the fact that she has it to herself for the moment.
> 
> \---
> 
> Next chapter: a visit to the hospital and checking in on the others.


	4. Chapter 4

The sun had dipped behind trees by the time Todd had pulled into the hospital parking lot for the third and hopefully last time that day. Having quickly dozed off once they had made it back on the road, Dirk jolted awake at the sound of Todd pulling the parking brake into place. He popped the door open and slid out of the amboolents without a word even before Todd had switched off the ignition, leaning heavily on Mona’s wooden crutch form as he made his way with surprising speed toward the sliding glass doors. 

“Dirk, wait up!” Todd called after him as he scrambled out and fumbled the keys to lock the doors. He craned his neck and peered around for signs of sleek black vans or military uniforms before he set after Dirk with a sigh. At least it had seemed that Blackwing had moved on from the vicinity for now.

“Thought you might want this,” came Dirk’s voice abruptly from Todd’s left as he passed through the entrance. Turning to face him, Todd was greeted by the welcome sight of a steaming cup of coffee as Dirk pressed it into his hands. “It’s to replace the one I spilt earlier.”

“Thanks,” Todd said in surprise, taking a sip and relishing the warmth and the caffeine, even though the brew tasted both burnt and bland, like it had been stewing in the machine for days. 

“Sorry again about that. Anyway, I think we’ve got an hour left of visiting time for the day. Mona just volunteered to try and find out where Farah, Tina, and the Sheriff are,” Dirk said, still avoiding Todd’s gaze as he nodded his head in the direction of the receptionist's desk. Looking in the direction of his gesture, Todd saw what looked like a moth flutter near one of the unattended computers in the receptionist’s area, morph briefly into a thumb drive, before turning into a bubble that floated to the ceiling, across the room, and down toward them, changing just before she touched Dirk’s awaiting hands into a binder of documents.

“Here are the patient charts for the three of them,” Dirk said, flipping through Mona’s pages with a smile. “Tremendous assisting, Mona.” 

“Whoa,” Todd said, awestruck. “No wonder the CIA was interested in her. She’d be the best secret agent ever.”

  
Dirk clenched his jaw, but did not say anything as he continued to read through the pages. “Looks like they’re in three separate rooms on the fourth floor,” he said finally. “Come on, elevator’s this way.”

Without waiting for Todd’s reaction, Dirk turned and leaned once more against Mona’s crutch form, hopping his way down the hallway toward the pair of metal elevator doors. 

“Dirk, slow down, you’re going to hurt yourself,” Todd yelled as he walked as quickly as he could without spilling again, barely managing to catch the elevator closing doors with his hand.

“Me? I’m all patched up now, nothing to worry about,” Dirk said absently, eyes fixed on the elevator buttons as they slowly indicated the changing floors. “Tina seems to have got the worst of it… her arm will have to be — ”

Todd heaved a frustrated sigh. “Are you mad at me, Dirk?” he interrupted. 

The question seemed to throw Dirk, who turned to look at Todd for the first time since they entered the hospital. “What?” he said in confusion. “Why would I be mad at you?”

“I — well — you seem like you’re trying to avoid me,” Todd replied, “like just now, with the elevator.”

“Oh, that,” Dirk said, before looking down and swallowing. “I promise you I’m not trying to avoid you, and I’m sorry I made you feel that I was. I’m just… anxious to see Farah.”

“Yeah, me too,” said Todd as the elevator dinged and opened its doors, relenting even though he didn’t quite buy Dirk’s explanation. He followed Dirk’s lead as he turned down the corridor to the left, eyeing the door signs until they reached the door to room 436. Peering through the window in the door, Todd could see Farah’s sleeping form propped up on a mass of pillows with tubing taped to her nose and her hand.

“Tina’s in the room next door,” Dirk said softly, “and the Sheriff is in the room after that, room 440.” 

“Why don’t you go in and check on Farah, and I’ll check on Hobbs and Tina before circling back here?” Todd suggested. Dirk nodded before gently opening the door and slipping inside. 

Todd stepped further down the corridor, looking into the windows as he passed. Tina was also sleeping, similarly propped up with an arm immobilized in a sling, but Hobbs was awake and frowning in concentration at the newspaper in his lap. Glancing up, the sheriff waved and beckoned, so Todd opened the door and stepped in to greet him. 

“Aren’t you a sight for sore eyes!” Hobbs exclaimed as Todd approached his bed. “Maybe you can help me with this crossword clue: ten letters, ‘denouncing the boss for being a predator’?”

Todd paused for several seconds in thought, before the familiar image of a kitten shark flashed through his mind. “Is it ‘ _ hammerhead _ ’?” he said. 

Hobbs squinted at the crossword in his lap briefly before exclaiming in delight, “oh, so it is, thank you!” he said cheerfully, pulling out a pen tucked behind his ear and scribbling down the word. “It’s so good to see a friendly face after hours of dealing with doctors, nurses, and spooky military guys.”

“Spooky guys?” Todd asked, settling into a chair by the bed.

“Well, yeah, can’t think of another word for them,” said Hobbs, setting the folded paper back on his lap. “There were a couple of guys that came in here not half an hour ago with secrecy forms for everyone to sign.”

“That must have been Blackwing,” Todd muttered to himself. “Wow, we cut that close.” 

“Blackwing? What’s that?” Hobbs asked.

Todd hesitated for a second, unsure how to explain. “Remember how Dirk said that he was in a ‘government prison for psychics’?” he said finally. “Blackwing’s the name of the agency that ran that prison, and they’re probably here looking for Dirk, among other things.”

“Wow,” said Hobbs. “Does Dirk know that Blackwing was here?”

“I don’t think so,” Todd said. “I don’t want to bring it up if they’re gone for now. He’s already got a lot on his plate, you know?”

“Yeah… all of this stuff is almost too cool,” Hobbs said. “Between the top secret government spookies, the alternate dimensions, and the magic, it feels like we’ve been swept up into some crazy movie.”

Todd nodded. “Yeah, things tend to go that way in proximity to Dirk,” he said with a shrug. “At least it’s never boring.”

“This might be a bit too much excitement, even for me,” Hobbs admitted with a wince. “I’m still feeling hungover from whatever the Mage did to me, not to mention all the bullet holes. How do you manage it?”

“Well, this is only my second case,” Todd replied, rubbing at his temples and taking a deep swig from his coffee. “I’m still trying to figure it out myself. At least we solved the case… and I was able to find Amanda.”

“I’m glad to hear that,” Hobbs said with a brief smile, before pressing on more seriously. “So now that you’ve managed to reunite with your sister and get what you came to find Dirk for, are you going to keep going with him? I mean, things may have worked out this time, but if this is what counts as normal around Dirk, who knows what’ll happen next time to you or Farah or Amanda!”

Todd gaped for several seconds, leaning back in his chair as he reeled from the unexpected question. His first instinct was to say of course he would stick with Dirk, but he hesitated as the validity of Hobbs’s concerns hit home. What would he do if Amanda were to get caught up again in the whirlwind of chaos that perpetually trailed Dirk’s wake anything and if something terrible were to happen to her? Being with Dirk and taking part in these cases had made Todd’s heart race and feel more alive than he had in years, but would he ever be able to forgive himself if Amanda were to get hurt because he was chasing a thrill? Especially now that even Dirk was acting weird around him even when he  _ wasn’t  _ trying to actively push him away…

\---

The first sound that reached Farah’s ears in a long, long time was a quiet sniffle. It was dark, yet every part of her felt so heavy and sluggish that even twitching her eyelids seemed beyond her reach. For a moment, she thought that she was dreaming, but a second sniffle, accompanied by a shifting weight near her legs dashed that notion.

“Stop it, you’ll wake Farah,” came a harsh whisper. “Stupid Dirk, don’t blow it again.”

Mustering up the energy to crack open one eye, Farah made out a dimly lit white tiled ceiling above her. Roaming her squinted eye around the room slowly, she blearily made out a stack of machines and monitors standing close to the right side of her bed and a set of darkened windows with curtains drawn in the distance. On her left there was a small table and an IV drip connected to tubing that snaked into her hand that pulled uncomfortably when she flexed her fingers. As she looked down, her gaze finally settled on Dirk’s pale blurry form hunched in a seat by the foot of the left side of her bed. He was resting his elbows on the bed beside her legs, with hair tousled and clad only in crumpled and dirt-stained shirtsleeves, rubbing furiously at his eyes with the heels of his palms. 

With an effort, she took a swallow of her parched throat, and managed to croak, “what’s going on?”

Dirk jolted back from the bed at the sound of her voice, cupping his hands over his mouth, before standing up and limping closer to her with a hand leaning heavily against the bed railing. “Farah! I’m so sorry I woke you.”

“‘s OK, I was already awake,” Farah said, shaking her head slightly before she nodded back to Dirk. “What happened to you?”

“Oh, it’s nothing… just a scratch, and down to my own clumsiness,” he said hurriedly. “The much more important question is how are  _ you  _ feeling?”

“Thirsty,” she said with a frown.

Hearing this, Dirk hobbled up to the table and picked up a bottle of water and unscrewed the lid. Reaching into his pocket, he pulled out a bright pink bendy straw and stuck it in the bottle before hobbling back to the bedside and bringing the bottle and straw up to Farah’s lips. The water felt deliciously cool as it slid down her throat as she took her first sip, and she quickly gulped several more before leaning back with a contented sigh.

“Much better,” she said with a sleepy smile.

“I’m glad,” Dirk replied with an answering grin, though he failed to meet her eyes. “Todd’s just stepped out for a moment — checking on Tina and the Sheriff down the hall, I think. He’s the one who saved you lot and brought you to the hospital. Looks like you were all very,  _ very  _ lucky, and will make a full recovery with time.” 

He pulled his seat back toward him and sank heavily into it, fiddling with the water bottle and the straw for several moments before he spoke once more. “You must be exhausted, Farah. I should let you rest.”

“But I just woke up,” Farah protested, blinking her eyes more widely awake. “And I want to say hi to Todd. At least keep me company until he gets back?”

Dirk met her eyes briefly with a concerned frown, before he relented. “Of course,” he said with a smile, and reached out to give her hand a gentle pat. “You’re the most sensible one of us all — I trust you to know yourself well enough to know your limits.”

“I honestly feel fine, for now at least,” Farah assured him.

“Good,” Dirk said. He paused for a few seconds as his smile slipped from his face and he leaned back in his chair, looking away again. “Do you remember what happened?”

Farah sank further into her pillows as she searched her currently cottonball thoughts. “After we got separated, I met up with Tina again,” she recalled after a moment. “Our main lead at that point was Suzie Boreton, so we went to her house again, where we found her husband. He’d been — I don’t even know what to call it… bamboozled? Confounded? Possessed? I don’t know… something was controlling him from the TV, and we managed to break the connection enough for him to point us to the quarry. The Mage had gone there with Hobbs. He had bamboozled Hobbs too, and was making him steal explosives from the quarry. The Mage managed to put the same spell on us, and forced us to shoot each other before we stopped him.”

Dirk winced, gripping the armrests tightly and hunching his shoulders. “If Todd hadn’t managed to reach you when he did,” he began bleakly, before closing his eyes and shaking his head as he started to breathe raggedly. 

Farah frowned. “Dirk,” she said, alarmed by his increasingly irregular gasps. “It’s going to be OK. You just told me that we’re all going to recover just fine.”

“But it was almost… not fine,” Dirk snapped back. “It was so close… and with Todd, too — ”

“Wait, what’s wrong with Todd?” Farah asked in confusion. With Dirk’s mention of Todd bringing them to the hospital and her own jumbled memories of him at the quarry, she had assumed that Todd was fine. What could have happened to him for Dirk to have this reaction?

“He was seconds away from being crushed to death by Suzie Boreton!” Dirk exclaimed breathlessly, tears falling unnoticed from his eyes. “Just like you were moments away from bleeding to death in some  _ quarry _ in the middle of nowhere! I — I cherish you both more than anything in this world, but every move I make just puts you in harm’s way… and it’s all my fault… I’m so sorry.”

“Dirk, I want you to look at me, and breathe with me, ok?” Farah said firmly, reaching out to grasp his hand. “Inhale for four… hold for seven… out for eight… in… hold… out… in… hold… out…” She kept going several rounds until Dirk’s staccato gasps gradually slowed and evened into more regular breaths.

“Stupid Dirk,” he whispered to himself, looking down at his knees, “letting his mess get in the way of supporting a friend who’s newly recovering from major surgery.”

“Hey, none of that,” Farah said firmly. “Today has been a long, crazy,  _ scary _ day for all of us. It’s OK to feel overwhelmed from all of that. I know I’m feeling it.” Dirk sighed and started to curl into himself once more.

“I’m not scared for  _ me _ ,” he protested. “I’m scared for  _you_!” 

“Listen,” she continued steadily, squeezing his hand gently. “Nothing that happened was your doing. When we found him, the Mage had moved way past Wendimoor and was well on his way to world domination here! And we stopped him. Stopping that was worth what happened after.”

Dirk’s eyes peered at their grasped hands, before finally rising to meet Farah’s. “You’re such a superhero,” he said with a watery smile.

“Well, I wasn’t going to lose  _ two  _ fights in a year,” Farah said flippantly. “And now we’ve got time to take care of each other. So you get to pamper me while I work on getting better… but you mean a lot to me too. And so  _ I _ get to care for you, too.” 

Dirk’s eyes lit up as if an epiphany had struck him. “So how can I pamper you?” he asked. “How can I be useful?”

The question surprised Farah at first, as she hadn’t expected him to take her suggestion so literally. “Well, actually,” she said after pausing to think. “This might seem like an odd request, but would you mind getting me some nail polish? It seems like I’ll be here for a while, and it’d be great to have something low key to do to keep me occupied.” 

“Done,” Dirk said with a nod, just as the door in the far corner opened to reveal a tired looking Todd, whose haggard expression brightened into a grin as he saw her.

“You’re awake!” Todd exclaimed, rushing over to join Dirk by the bedside. 

“I’m glad you’re OK, too, Todd,” Farah said, before stifling a yawn.

Dirk raised himself from the chair, waving away Todd’s protests. “Back soon, Farah, I’m on a mission, now!” he exclaimed, earning a bewildered look from Todd. “Why don’t you try to get some sleep?”

“Yeah, we’ll be here when you wake up,” Todd said, shifting his gaze back to Farah with a shrug.

“Fine,  _ dads _ ,” Farah said, closing her eyes before smiling. “And thanks. Thanks to the both of you.”

“You too, Farah,” said Dirk.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter: Dirk plays a little Secret Santa, and everyone's taking a bit of a breather they begin the healing process.


	5. Chapter 5

It was the smell of freshly brewed coffee that roused Farah early next morning, and when she opened her eyes, she was greeted by the sight of the back of someone wearing a bright yellow jacket and held up by a pair of wooden crutches. 

“Dirk?” she called out blearily, and he jumped, before turning back to her sheepishly.

“Sorry for waking you again, Farah,” he said. “I just wanted to drop off some supplies with you — there’s a thermos of coffee for you, if you’re up for drinking it later, some snacks, a book, and the nail polish you requested. I wasn’t sure which colour you wanted so I got a selection for you to mix and match.”

“Where’s Todd?” she asked, stretching slightly and stifling a yawn.

“He’s probably still sleeping,” Dirk replied. “It’s still early… not even visiting hours yet technically, but I thought you might appreciate these things first thing.” He paused, shifting his grip on the crutches nervously before continuing, “I’ve got to go for now — Mona and I have some more errands to run, but I’ll try to pop back in a bit later.”

“Thanks, Dirk,” Farah said with a smile. “Would you have time for a nail painting session with me when you get back?”

“Oh, um, sure!” Dirk replied in surprise. “I look forward to it!” With that, he gave a small wave, and without waiting for any response from Farah, he headed to the door and slipped out with a quiet click. 

Shaking her head with a bemused smile, Farah turned to inspect Dirk’s delivery, and was shocked to see the plethora of items that comprised his care package. There was a giant bowl of apples, oranges, and grapes, next to which stood bags of popcorn, granola, and her favorite type of trail mix — studded with pieces of dark chocolate chips instead of raisins. Beside the thermos stood a neatly arranged row of nine bottles of nail polish — one for each color of the rainbow, plus separate clear bottles of base coat and top coat polish. On the edge of the table was a small paperback. Reaching over and flipping to the cover, Farah saw that it was the latest “Chief Inspector Gamache” novel that she had started right before Lydia’s kidnapping (her other copy was probably still collecting dust on her bedroom dresser). Taking a small sip of the coffee, tasting of the complex floral notes only found in well-made french press, Farah settled back into her cushions with a fond smile and began to read.

\---

“Gin rummy? Really?” Tina said, staring at Hobbs sarcastically as the three of them gathered in their wheelchairs around a table in the garden outside a few hours later.

“Well, someone left me a care package this morning that included a book of crosswords and a deck of cards, so I thought I’d share the wealth somehow,” Hobbs replied with a shrug as he shuffled the deck and started dealing the cards. 

“You got a care package too?” Tina exclaimed. “Someone brought by my mp3 player from the office with all my good playlists and a stack of those adult coloring books. Who would even know that I love to color when I’m bored… and not stoned?”

“I think it was Dirk,” Farah said after a pause. “I woke up to him dropping off a care package for me this morning.”

“Wow, he’s been busy,” Hobbs said with a whistle. “Tell him thanks for us when you see him next, will you?”

“I will if I see him,” Farah replied with a sigh.

\---

“Where’s Dirk?” Farah asked as she and Todd munched through the bag of popcorn while playing a game of Scrabble that Todd had brought with him that afternoon.

“What? I don’t know,” Todd said as he placed tiles to spell out ‘SHARK’ with the K slotting into a triple letter space.

“What do you mean, you don’t know?” Farah said, surprised. 

“We drove together to the hospital, but he got back into the car with Mona after we parked, saying that they needed to run some more errands in town,” Todd explained. “I tried to go with them, but he insisted that I come up to check on you guys.”

“That’s really weird,” Farah mused, perplexed. “I hope that leaving him along with Mona will be OK.”

“He has been acting odd around me,” Todd admitted with a sigh. “I think I could’ve done something to offend him or something? He keeps avoiding me and won’t look me in the eye. But he just brushes it off whenever I’ve tried to bring it up. I’ll bet that he’ll be OK with Mona, though. She’s a bit hard to explain — I guess she can turn into anything she wants? Like, I think  _ she’s _ the yellow jacket that he’s wearing today. But she’s really nice in person, and there’s this closeness between her and Dirk that I haven’t seen in him before, so I don’t think we’ve got anything to fear from her.”

“Well, that’s something, at least,” Farah said with a smile as she put down the word KEBABS, stretching into a double word space. “If you want, I can try to ask him about what’s going on between you the next time he comes by.”

“Thanks,” said Todd.

\---

As their game came to a surprisingly close finish (Farah edged out a two-point win with the word POLYPS), Farah announced that she was going to take a nap and proceeded to kick Todd out of her room. As he closed the door behind him, Todd leaned heavily against the wall and pulled out his phone from his pocket. Their conversation inside about Dirk had brought all of his anxieties and misgivings about the current situation to the forefront of his mind once more. 

It had seemed the natural choice to look for Dirk after he had vanished and after that last, frantic phone call from Amanda before she, too, had gone without a trace. Their disappearances had to have been connected, and it had seemed so unfair that everything fell apart just when the prospect of a brighter future was within grasp. So even as the search for Dirk had become harder and more open-ended as the weeks rolled by — with the frozen bank accounts, the running from law enforcement, and the many dried up leads — getting back to Dirk and then helping him solve the new case had always seemed the obvious thing to do to fix everything and get back on track.

But now, here he was in the aftermath of another solved case, with those closest to him hurt or in danger and without any inkling of what ‘on track’ even meant. And he had to wonder, did his instinct to keep following Dirk — which he still had even now — make sense? His life had felt so much more purposeful since Dirk became his compass, but would he ever forgive himself if the price of that was Amanda coming to harm?

With a sigh, Todd quickly dialed Amanda’s number and lifted his phone to his ear. Her voice came through alongside a jumble of rustling and clanging after the third ring.

“What, loser?” she said in greeting.

“Hey, sis, do you have time to talk alone right now?” Todd asked.

“Sure, hang on a sec,” Amanda said after a pause. There was a loud bang and several seconds of rusling and crunching before her voice returned. “OK, ready. How’s Farah doing, by the way? Is she going to be OK?”

“She’s good… doing as well as can be expected, under the circumstances,” Todd said. “She was shot, but none of the bullets hit anything too important. She’s been awake for several hours today, and even made a trip outside in a wheelchair, I’m told. And for now, Blackwing’s come and gone without bothering her.”

“That’s such a relief,” Amanda said with a sigh. “Tell her I said hi. Things are also good over here. We’re just on our way to restock some supplies for everyone a few towns over. We’ll swing back to Bergsberg end of this week before we head off.”

“Head off?” said Todd, surprised. “What do you mean?”

“Well we’re not going to just stay around Bergsberg forever,” Amanda retorted. “It’s the middle of nowhere, and we’ve got places to go and things to do!” 

“But… you’re not going back to Seattle?” Todd asked.

“Todd, we’ve been through this,” Amanda said. “My life is with the Rowdies now. There’s nothing for me back in Seattle.”

“But it’s not safe!” Todd exclaimed. “None of this is! Blackwing is still out there, for one. And… and even ignoring that, there’s just so much chaos surrounding them — ”

“You’re one to talk,” Amanda bit back, “you’re the one hanging around Dirk. The mayhem we get into pales in comparison to exploding shark kittens and the other crazy stuff that happens around him.”

“Exactly!” Todd yelled. “That’s my point! I don’t know if either of us should be doing this, when the universe has only ever punished us for it… I don’t know what I’d do if you were ever hurt because of all of this holistic — ”

“Wait, is that what this is about?” Amanda said incredulously. “You think that my friendship with the Rowdies and your friendship with Dirk is putting me in danger? And you want all of this to stop because of that?”

Todd sighed. “Amanda — ”

“No, don’t ‘ _ Amanda’  _ me,” she said firmly. “You listen. You don’t get to relieve your guilt from before by curbing my freedom to choose now. Who I choose to associate with is not your concern. My friends, my choice. And as for Dirk? You need to decide for yourself whether being friends with him is worth it, but don’t use me an excuse to chicken out of it. I’m a grown woman, Todd, and my safety is my own responsibility — that is not up for discussion. And if I were you, I’d be crazy to let go of a friendship with an amazing psychic detective and the most badass person I’ve ever met.”

“But — ”

“Anyway,” she interrupted. “I’ll call you when we get close on Friday.”

With that, the line went dead.

Todd groaned and smacked the back of his head against the wall, before wincing and reaching up to rub at it. What a mess! He didn’t want to pressure her, but it was so frustrating to feel powerless against legitimate concerns of danger. And his attempts only seemed to push her further away. Didn’t she realize that he was only thinking of her?

There was a part of him, though, that felt freed now that the responsibility of factoring in her safety when considering Dirk was so forcefully relinquished from him. All that was left to consider was whether staying with Dirk was worth it for him. And the answer to that question was so much more clear cut. It was in the quiet bravery that Dirk showed in confronting and pushing past his fears for the sake of solving cases and helping others. It was in the joyous wonder that Dirk exuded at all the madness that the universe threw at him rather than fear or bitterness. It was in his sunshine smile and big blue eyes. And it was in unwavering earnestness with which Dirk believed in Todd — as if he were someone special — even after Todd had unraveled his ugliest secrets. 

Todd would find a way to fix whatever he had done to create the distance that had formed between them, and would find a way to stay with Dirk for as long as he was able.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Farah's book selection here was inspired by the wonderful fic [Take Anything](https://archiveofourown.org/works/20433146) by [juniper_and_lamplight](https://archiveofourown.org/users/juniper_and_lamplight/pseuds/juniper_and_lamplight) that is well worth a read.
> 
> The card playing scene here is intended to flow directly into the scene in the show.
> 
> \---
> 
> Next chapter: we find out what Dirk's been up to.


	6. Chapter 6

The sharp smell of artificial lemon assaulted Dirk’s nostrils as he untwisted the cap from the bottle of floor cleaning solution and poured a generous measure into the yellow plastic bucket before starting to fill it from the tap in the janitor’s closet. As he waited for the bucket to fill with soapy water, Dirk wrinkled his nose and turned to survey the progress that he’d made in the last five hours on deep cleaning the police station. The balloons, streamers, and toilet paper had been untangled from the ceiling and the furniture and placed into black bin bags, and the red plastic cups and beer cans had been sorted into separate recycling bags. The old disco ball had been pulled down from the hook in the ceiling and put back in the evidence room along with all the other spare bits of clothing and trinkets that had accumulated from the after-party. The traffic cones scattered across the tables had been stacked and placed in a corner. The overturned sofa and desks had been righted and shifted back into their original locations, dusted, and scrubbed down furiously to remove the spill stains and the cheeto crumbs. Dirk had even found spare empty cups to store the jumble of pens cluttering Hobbs’s desk in colour-coordinated stashes. He couldn’t be of any additional use to his friends at the hospital, but he could work toward earning their friendship by sorting out the station here.

At the sound of water overflowing from the bucket, Dirk turned back with a muttered “shit,” before hurriedly turning off the tap and grabbing the mop from its hook on the wall. Ignoring the stinging and throbbing that pulsed up his leg, he tucked his tie into his shirt and swapped his crutches out for the mop, leaning on it heavily as he soaked the head of the mop in the soapy water, before wringing it out with his hands and slowly swiping it in smooth arcs across the floor. The rays first hints of sunset streamed in from the window and glimmered gold off the wet arcs trailing behind the mop and reminded Dirk of the shiny scales from the Loch Ness Monster that he’d glimpsed from a case five winters back. He smiled in fondness at the memory.

“Oh, Nessie was such a magnificent being,” he mused to Mona, who was currently coiled around his wrist as a teal-coloured friendship bracelet. “People have got the completely wrong impression of her — they’re all looking for the wrong sort of thing, trying to find a lizard… what a laugh. All of those blurry tabloid pictures were of her tentacle, not her neck, plus the loch is more of a seasonal residence rather than her permanent home! You should have seen her, all regal and full of grace.”

Mona changed colour to sunflower yellow in appreciation, and Dirk grinned.

“She rescued me from an impromptu lake dive on that case,” he said as he continued his progress across the floor. “The water wasn’t half cold!”

Mona blanched white in shock.

“Eh, don’t worry, it all turned out fine,” Dirk assured. “We found her eggs safe as houses and delivered them back to the sea. They’ll all be hatched by now, I’d expect.”

Mona blended back to her yellow and coiled slightly more tightly around Dirk’s wrist briefly before relaxing, and Dirk smiled, pausing his mopping to curl a hand briefly over her.

“I’m glad we found each other again,” he told her as he restarted his progress across the floor. “Reuniting with you has been one of the few bright spots in all of the chaos that’s happened. And it’s still not over.” 

He continued to work in silence for several minutes as his thoughts flitted from the dark shadows under Todd’s pain-filled eyes and his futile attempts to rub away his growing headache whenever he thought Dirk wasn’t looking, to the excruciating hoarseness of Farah’s voice that could only reach barely louder than a whisper, and to the unnatural, too pallid stillness of Tina and the Sheriff slumped in their hospital beds. 

“This was a hard one,” he admitted quietly. “Just so many deaths, and so many innocent people getting hurt… and for the longest time, it had seemed that everything that I tried was just making things worse and putting other people in danger.”

Around his wrist, Mona turned blue.

“And through it all, they were so kind and generous… going out of their way and risking their lives to protect  _ mine _ … How on Earth can I be worthy of all that?” Dirk continued, shaking his head. “How on Earth am I going to be able to pay it all back? Every day they just pile on more kindness, even as I keep spilling things on them, rudely awakening them, and generally just ruining things for them.”

He trailed off for several moments, frantically swiping the floor with the mop as he contemplated the prospect of just leaving again. It would be the only way he could stop ruining things even more for those he loved —  _ Todd _ and Farah and the others. It would cut their losses, surely… but Todd had been right. If he just left now without repaying his debt to them, they’d be forever at a loss, and he’d never be able to fix that.

“I’ve got to keep trying to minimize their harm and maximize their benefit,” he resolved aloud finally as he reached the opposite side of the main room. “That’s the only way I’ve got any chance to make this up to him… to all of them.”

The tiny Nokia burner phone in his back pocket buzzed suddenly, and Dirk leaned heavily on the mop and wiped his clammy brow before bringing the phone to his ear.

“Hello?”

“Dirk!” came Todd’s tinny voice through the earpiece. “Is everything OK? Where are you?”

“Todd,” Dirk said in surprise. “I’m fine. Did you need something?”

“I was just thinking about heading out from the hospital soon, and wanted to check whether we were still going to carpool back to Hobbs’s place?” Todd said.

“Oh yes!” Dirk replied, remembering their agreement from the morning. “Yes, I’ll be right there. And don’t worry about getting dinner, I’ve got some stew going in the slow cooker.”

“What? Seriously?” said Todd, sounding surprised.

“It was the least I could do, Todd,” Dirk said nonchalantly. “I know the difference a hearty, home-cooked meal can make to soothe the ills and blah, blah, blah… Anyway, I’ll meet you in the parking lot.”

“Thanks, Dirk. See you soon,” Todd said, before hanging up.

Dirk stuffed the phone back in his pocket, and took on more glance around the room. The newly cleaned floors gleamed, the desks were neatly ordered, the rubbish was put away, and the windows were spotless.

It was almost perfect.

Dirk sighed. He’d have to come back again tomorrow.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter: An attempt at cookie making.


	7. Chapter 7

Todd woke suddenly to a loud metallic crash and thud from the other room. A peek out the window told him that it was still dark outside.

Stumbling blearily into the kitchen, he saw that it was blanketed by a dusting of flour, which had exploded from a bag, currently half spilled across the floor tiles. An assortment of metal bowls were up-ended over the floor. In the midst of this havoc sprawled Dirk, lying face down in a tangle of limbs, his hair caked white in a fine dusting of flour. As he got closer, Todd could hear a faint sniffling sound.

“Dirk?” Todd asked in surprise. “What are you doing? Are you OK?” 

“Todd!” Dirk cried with a jolt. With a pained wince, he raised himself onto his elbows, before leaning heavily back against the oven door. His forehead, where it wasn’t smudged with streaks of flour, looked clammy with a sheen of sweat, and though he kept his eyes averted to the floor, Todd could see that they were red and blotchy from tears. “I’m so sorry! Stupid, useless Dirk, can’t even operate cabinetry without blowing everything!” 

“Wait, what?” Todd said in confusion. “What were you even trying to do at — ” he cut off briefly to glance at the clock, “half past four in the morning?”

Dirk sighed. “I couldn’t sleep and was looking for a snack, when I found some chocolate chips in one of the cupboards,” he explained. “And then I thought, ‘this must be a sign!’ The universe must be telling me to make some chocolate chip cookies for Farah. You know how much she loves them, and freshly made is just so much better than store-bought. I found all of the ingredients that I needed, and I just needed something to put them in, but the only bowls big enough were all the way up there.” He pointed half-heartedly to the highest shelf in the cupboard.

“I should have been able to reach it under normal circumstances,” Dirk continued sheepishly, “but… well… I suppose I didn’t realize how much more wobbly I still am on these stupid crutches. And now everything is ruined. Again.”

Todd closed his eyes and pinched his brow, hard. It was too early to be having this kind of conversation. “Why didn’t you just wait till morning, when I could have helped you?” he said slowly through gritted teeth.

“Well, I was already awake, and I didn’t want to bother you,” said Dirk quietly, scratching his nail against the fabric of his pants at his thigh. “Fat lot of good that did. Now I’ve just made everything worse.”

Todd grimaced at the all too familiar mood that Dirk was in. He’d thought that they’d moved past it after their conversation by the roadside, and it was both heartbreaking and frustrating to have to revisit Dirk’s emotional demons again so soon. “Look, I’m sure that Farah will appreciate you thinking of her,” he tried to assure. “no matter what — ”

“You can’t eat good thoughts!” Dirk interrupted with a scoff. 

Todd rolled his eyes. “Yeah, well, you can’t eat sulking either!”

Dirk sighed and closed his eyes, bringing his forehead to his knees and wrapping his trembling arms around his shins.

Todd scrambled to try a different tactic. “Dirk, you can’t give up now, I think this is still salvageable,” he tried. “We’ve still got enough of everything to make a batch, right? Why don’t we both get a few hours more rest, and then we can get this cleaned up and make some cookies for Farah together. OK?”

“No,” said Dirk softly, not moving from his curled up ball. “That won’t work.”

“Why not?” asked Todd. “I know I’m not a great baker, but two heads are better than one for that kind of thing, right?”

“You don’t understand,” Dirk said, shaking his head. “Your help just compounds the issue.”

Todd balked. “This isn’t just about the cookies, is it?” he asked. “What have I done to upset you? Please tell me so I can fix it.”

Dirk raised his head and stared at Todd incredulously. “You?” he said with a wry laugh. “You think I’m upset with _you_? You think _you’re_ the problem? Oh, Todd, you wonderful man, you have been nothing but perfect this entire time. You’ve come to my rescue so many times, putting yourself in danger, and you’ve been so kind to me even through all of my meltdowns. I couldn’t ask for a better friend.”

“What?” Todd said, even more confused. “Then what’s going on? Why are you upset? And why do you keep pushing me away?”

“Don’t you see, Todd?” Dirk said, looking away and tearing at his hair. “You said it yourself, friendship is about being there for your friends… and you’ve been the _best_ of friends, Todd. You’ve been there for me in so many ways. You, and Farah, and Tina, and the Sheriff. I’ve tried so hard to pay back some of that friendship, but everything I try just blows up in my face and ruins your lives. And every additional kindness you shower upon me just makes my debt worse. _I’m_ the terrible friend. I just can’t keep up… I’ll never make it up to you all at this rate.”

Todd blew out a deep breath and slowly took a seat beside Dirk. 

“Friendship isn’t like the bank, Dirk,” he said softly. “The things we do for each other — the things you’ve done for me — they can’t be tallied up on some scorecard.”

“That’s not the point,” Dirk said, closing his eyes in frustration. “Even if we’re not technically counting… I’ve got _nothing_ to offer you.” 

Todd couldn’t help but let out a chuckle of fond exasperation at that, causing Dirk to stare at him in confusion. “Oh, Dirk,” Todd continued, reaching forward and slowly untangling Dirk’s hands from his hair, giving them a gentle squeeze. "If only you knew how much you’ve already brought to my life just by being here.”

He paused, tracing his thumb across Dirk’s knuckles as he collected his thoughts. “Before you showed up, I was lonely, too,” Todd said carefully. “I was lonely from all the lies and deception and backstabbing for such a long time that I didn’t even register what it was. But then you came along, with your smile that lights up every room, your ceaseless energy, and your crazy, crazy bravery. And you stayed, and what’s even crazier is that you believed in me no matter how much of an asshole I was to you. And suddenly, I wasn’t lonely anymore. That’s what woke me up. That’s what made me feel alive and want to _try_ again. 

“I’m not here with you because I want favors from you. I’m here because…” Todd took a deep breath, before continuing, “because I love you. And I want to be right here with you for as long as you’ll have me.”

Dirk was stunned into silence. He stared stiffly at Todd with incredulous wide eyes as the moments passed, and Todd's initial self-consciousness morphed progressively into concern as Dirk remained frozen without even blinking.

“Dirk?” Todd said finally, gently squeezing Dirk’s hands once again. 

A myriad of expressions flickered across Dirk’s face — from fear, to anguish, to determination — before settling on a bright, tear-filled grin of joy. “Can I kiss you?” he whispered in an uncharacteristically timid voice.

“Huh?” said Todd, taken completely off guard. 

“Only, I think I’ve been smitten with you since the second day we met, and this is literally my wildest dream come true,” Dirk blurted. “Of course, I completely understand if you don’t want to. After all, this is — ”

Todd didn’t wait to hear what Dirk thought ‘this’ was — he launched himself forwards, held Dirk’s flour- and tear-streaked face firmly between his hands, and brought his lips to meet Dirk’s. 

There were several advantages to catching Dirk in mid-sentence: most importantly, it gave Todd full access to explore Dirk’s upper lip — warm, so soft, and tasting faintly of salt — with the attention it deserved. And once Dirk overcame his initial shock at this novel change of circumstances, Todd was further rewarded by the exquisite tenderness with which Dirk’s lower lip came up to caress and suck at his own. A hint of his tongue followed, grazing gently across Todd’s lip, and Todd tilted his head, nuzzling his nose further into Dirk’s warm cheek. Though his nostrils tickled with the dusting of flour surrounding him, Todd took his time to carefully explore, caress, and tease at each inch of Dirk’s lips with his own, relishing the attentiveness with which Dirk reciprocated, gasping in delight as Dirk threaded his own trembling fingers into Todd’s hair. 

Dirk finally broke away, breathing heavily through his mouth with eyes closed to catch his breath, before he looked back at Todd with an embarrassed smile. 

“Oh, I’ve made such a mess of your face,” he said, leaning forward to wipe a smudge of flour from Todd’s cheek, “not to mention your hair!”

“Sounds like we both need a shower, then,” Todd joked with a smirk, standing back up and extending a hand to Dirk.

“You go first,” Dirk said, Todd’s innuendo going completely over his head. “I’ll just clean up here and get those cookies set.”

“Are you sure?” Todd asked. “I can help too.” 

“You’ve already been a world of help, Todd,” Dirk said with a fond smile as he gave Todd’s hand a squeeze before pulling himself up slowly. “Look, I don’t know what I’ve done to earn this privilege — ” 

“Dirk, it’s not — ”

“Not about tallying up points, fine,” Dirk said, “but I’ll try my best to be worthy of it… and you’ll never be rid of me now, Todd.”

Todd launched himself into Dirk’s arms once more and pulled him into a tight hug. 

“Perfect.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter: the cookies actually happen! And there are consequences to Dirk pushing himself too much.


	8. Chapter 8

By the time Todd had taken an extra long shower, changed, and headed back towards the kitchen, he was greeted by the luxuriant smell of freshly brewed coffee, the sound of a dishwasher furiously running, and the sight of gleaming floors and countertops. Dirk was hunched over two baking sheets with his back to Todd, painstakingly portioning out the cookie dough with an ice cream scoop. 

Approaching quietly from behind, Todd slowly wrapped his arms around Dirk’s waist, soaking in his warmth and giving him a gentle squeeze in greeting. “You’ve made a lot of progress, I see,” he said.

“Morning, Todd,” Dirk greeted as he looked over his shoulder at Todd with a smile, his hair and face still caked with flour. “There’s coffee for you on the counter there, beside Farah’s thermos, and this is almost done. Just got to pop in the oven for thirteen minutes or so, and then you can tell me if it’s any good.”

Todd sidled over to the mug of coffee on the counter and inhaled the curling steam deeply before taking an appreciative sip. “I didn’t know you could bake. Or make such amazing coffee,” he mused.

“I did a six-month stint in a pastry shop in Paris for a very unusual case five years ago,” Dirk explained as he finished arranging the last scoop and lifted one of the baking sheets from the counter. “These things sort of rub off on you by proximity, I suppose. Though I don’t think they’d really appreciate this type of confection.”

“You, as a pastry chef?,” asked Todd, surprised. “One day, I’ll have to convince you to make croissants from scratch for me. Do you have any other hidden talents?”

“I don’t know what you mean,” Dirk said, as he shifted the baking sheet into his left hand, and started to reach for a crutch with his right. “This isn’t exactly a talent, or really hidden for that matter.”

Todd rolled his eyes. “Here, let me help,” he said, taking the baking sheet from Dirk’s hand, making his way toward the stove, and sliding it inside the oven, before picking up the other baking sheet from the counter and depositing it inside as well. “Why don’t you get yourself cleaned up? I’ll set an alarm on my phone, and I promise to take out the cookies when they’re ready.”

“Fair enough,” Dirk said sheepishly, picking up his crutches from where they were propped beside him by the sink. “I do feel a bit… _sticky_ , and I don’t suppose they’d let me in the hospital like this. Don’t forget to swap and rotate the trays half way through!” Leaning on his crutches heavily, Dirk hopped his way back to the bathroom, and soon, Todd could hear the sound of water streaming from the showerhead.

Todd took out his phone and set the timer for the cookies, before gathering the cookie dough streaked bowl and ice cream scoop and putting them into the sink. On a whim, he swiped a finger through the residual dough and licked it. The dough tasted rich, sweet, and creamy, but there was an unusual yet strangely addictive savory undertone that Todd couldn’t pinpoint, which made the dough highly unlike any other chocolate chip cookie dough that he’d ever tasted.

Leaning back against the counter and taking another lick of the cookie dough, Todd mused that the dough was quite like Dirk in that respect: unusual, distinctive, and complex, but impossible to walk away from. And after what had happened in the last hour, it felt like they were embarking on uncharted seas together.

There was still a part of Todd that was surprised by Dirk’s continued presence in his life. He didn’t really understand what Dirk saw in him any more than Dirk seemed to have understood how much he meant to Todd before that morning. Still, even he could admit that he liked the version of himself now more than his previous self from before meeting Dirk, which now had the feeling of being a lifetime ago. And, like Dirk had said, Todd, too, would do his best to be worthy of the love that Dirk apparently felt for him. Starting with the dishes. 

With a sigh, Todd squeezed some detergent into the bowl and turned on the water, watching as the bowl started to fill with soapy suds. Grabbing a sponge from the lip of the sink, Todd dunked the ice cream scoop into the water and started scrubbing.

The phone alarm started beeping for the second time just as Todd had finished rinsing both the bowl and the scoop and turned off the tap. Wiping his hands quickly with a towel, Todd raced to the oven, flipped the switch off, and grabbed a couple of pot holders to help him pull out the baking sheets from the oven and set them on the stove. The room immediately wafted with the sweet smell of freshly baked cookies that made Todd want to stuff one in his mouth right away. With difficulty, he repressed the urge, wanting to wait for Dirk to get back before digging in, so he opted instead for finding a spatula and cooling rack. 

Todd had arranged two large cooling racks with cookies, and was just finishing a last scrub of the baking sheets when he heard Dirk’s footsteps back into the kitchen. Turning around to face him, Todd found him clad in a fresh white shirt, dark tie and pants, and Mona’s yellow jacket form, with his dark, damp hair combed neatly to the side and cheeks still flushed from the heat of the shower.

“Oh, thank you, Todd,” Dirk said, beaming. “You didn’t have to do all of that.” 

“I wanted to,” Todd insisted. “It’s the least I could do after you did all of the actual baking. I can’t wait to dig in!”

“No need to wait on my account,” Dirk said, shuffling up to a cooling rack and picking up a cookie.

Todd followed Dirk’s lead, picking up a second cookie from the rack, breaking it in half in his hands, and taking a bite from one piece. The cookie was soft, with a slightly crisp edge that wonderfully offset its chewy interior which was still warm from the oven. The unusual savory note from the raw dough was gone, leaving behind a decadent rich, dark, and sweet taste. 

“Wow, these are _so_ amazing,” Todd said, causing Dirk to dip his head with a bashful smile. “What did you put in them? They’re unlike any chocolate chip cookie I’ve ever had before.”

“Well, I was rummaging in the fridge for some eggs, when I noticed that Hobbs had some leftover miso paste hiding in the back,” Dirk explained, giving a nonchalant shrug. “I had a hunch that it would work well with the dough, so I added a helping! I’m glad you like it.” 

Todd paused mid bite, his eyebrows raising in surprise at Dirk’s secret ingredient. The flavor of the raw dough now made sense, and he had to admit that the miso paste did seem to add something to the overall flavor of the finished cookie. “So you’re a holistic baker on top of being a holistic detective?” he joked, taking another bite. “Don’t tell Farah what’s in this, though. It’s almost better not knowing.” 

“All right, whatever keeps you sane,” Dirk said with a grin, and Todd rolled his eyes at him fondly.

“By the way,” Todd said, picking up a kitchen towel to wipe away some loose crumbs, “Can we… talk about, uh, what just happened? You know, with the kiss?”

Dirk tilted his head and looked at Todd with hesitation. “What is there to talk about?” he asked.

“I just… want to be sure that you’re, like, OK with how things have changed between us in the last hour or so,” Todd said carefully. “And I want to know whether you’d be OK with… going further.”

Dirk’s features melted into a fond smile. “Oh, Todd, you made one of my wildest dreams come true with that kiss,” he said, “and I will follow you on this path for as far as you’d like to go.”

“Then, onwards!” Todd said, and he couldn’t help but step forward and pull Dirk into a tight hug, standing on tiptoe to touch their foreheads together.

Perhaps it was the residual heat from the shower, but Dirk’s forehead felt unusually warm. Stepping back, Todd looked up at him with a frown. “Dirk, do you have a temperature?”

Dirk blinked. “Yes, Todd,” he said with a raised eyebrow. “I think most people do. Just like most people have a pulse.”

“No, not like that,” Todd said with a roll of his eyes as he headed toward the bathroom to look for a thermometer. “You just feel kind of warm right now. Do you think you could have a fever?” 

“Really?” Dirk said. “I feel fine, more or less, considering.”

“Is that Dirk-speak for ‘I’m about to pass out in five minutes’?” Todd shot back, as he grabbed a digital thermometer from the mirror cabinet, and stalked back to Dirk. “Open up.”

“Is this really necessary?” Dirk asked skeptically. “We’ve both got better things to be doing today.”

“Please, just humor me,” Todd said, and when Dirk obligingly opened his mouth, he slid the tip of the thermometer carefully under Dirk’s tongue. Dirk wiggled his eyebrows playfully at Todd as they waited for the read to finalize, and Todd chuckled as he pulled out the thermometer to look at the result. His expression quickly fell as he took in the numbers.

“You’re at 100!” Todd cried, his forehead creasing in worry.

“I have no idea what that means,” Dirk said flatly. “There’s no way that I’m boiling. I’d be giving off much more steam if I were.”

“A hundred Fahrenheit means low grade fever,” Todd said with a glare. “You need to see a doctor.”

“What, no I’m fine,” Dirk protested, stepping toward one of the cabinets and pulling out a large plastic tupperware container. “It’s just a fever, and not even a full blown one according to you.”

“Dirk, if you’re having a fever right now, it could mean that your wounds are infected!” Todd said. 

“But I don’t like doctors,” Dirk said, using the spatula to transfer the cookies into the tupperware, snapping on the lid, and putting the container in a large cloth shopping bag for transport. “and I’ve got to get back to the station today.”

“The police station?” Todd asked in surprise. “Why would you need — no, you know what? Never mind. You may not like doctors, but I like the prospect of someone I love dying or getting limbs amputated because of infections from self-surgery even less, so tough! We are going to get you looked at by a doctor, and then you’re going to spend the rest of the day off your feet, guzzling tea, and resting. When was the last time you actually slept anyway?”

“I — ”

“No, don’t answer that, I probably don’t want to know,” Todd said, taking the bag from Dirk’s hands, grabbing Farah’s thermos, and waving him towards the front door. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [Miso chocolate chip cookies](https://www.acozykitchen.com/miso-chocolate-chip-cookies) are actually a thing.
> 
> \---
> 
> Next Chapter: Dirk finally gets in a doctor's visit for himself.


	9. Chapter 9

Dr. Beatriz de la Cruz hurried out of the toilet stall and to the sink, mentally humming the Star Trek theme song to time her hand washing before drying her hands and rushing out of the restroom. It was only 3pm and a third of the way through her 30-hour shift, but she was already starting to feel the itch of her eyes and was already behind on her rounds. 

She adjusted the black arm band around the sleeve of her scrubs with a sigh, shuffled back into her white coat, and headed to the computer to skim through the file for her next patient. “Mr. Dirk Gently,” she muttered under her breath as her eyes took in the most pertinent details of the case notes: a complex laceration proximal to the right deltoid, a bullet wound to the right rectus femoris that the patient had attempted to suture himself, coupled with subfebrile core temperature and extended insomnia. Her eyebrows raised in surprise. This one was going to be interesting.

Squaring her shoulders, she headed to room 203, where her patient was waiting. 

“Good afternoon, sir,” she said, adopting her bright, patient-friendly voice. “My name is Dr. de la Cruz, and I’ll be taking care of you today.”

Her patient was male, white, mid-30s, and tall, perched hunched over in an examination gown on the table as he twisted his fingers and swung his left leg with nervous energy. Among the belongings slung on the chair in the corner of the room was a bold yellow leather jacket that she remembered seeing near the start of her shift, hours ago. At the sound of her voice, he straightened, and flickered his gaze briefly at her, but kept his head down. “Good afternoon, Doctor,” he said. “My name is Gently, Mister.”

“Very well, Mr. Gently,” Beatriz said with a quirk of her eyebrows. “How are you feeling today?”

“Fine, Doctor,” he said, simply.

“I apologize for the long wait,” Beatriz said as she pulled up a stool and sat down in front of him, before slipping on a pair of nitrile gloves, carefully undoing the bandage dressing his leg wound, and assessing the sutures underneath. “There was an incident here a few days ago that’s left us seriously short-staffed for the moment.”

“I… heard something about that," Mr. Gently said with despair filling his eyes as he looked away. "I’m so very sorry.”

She looked up with surprise at the degree of guilt in his voice, almost as if he were personally involved with the situation, which would have been impossible. “Thank you for your concern, Mr. Gently,” she replied as evenly as she could, even as her eyes flickered to the black band on her arm. She’d lost three friends that horrifying day, and her nightmares were still filled with flying shapes. “The last few days have been even crazier than usual — especially with those military guys stomping around — but we’re starting to get a handle on things again.”

“Yes, I know the feeling,” Mr. Gently mused, his eyes widening briefly before glancing up to meet her gaze. “Is there anything I can do to help?”

“Help?” Beatriz asked. “That’s very generous of you to offer, but we’re getting the situation under control. The only thing we’re always in need of is donations to help support families who can’t afford standard expenses.”

Her patient nodded pensively. “I’ll see what I can do,” he said. 

“Anything is appreciated,” Beatriz replied with a smile, before returning to her examination, dabbing the stitches with a saline-moistened square of gauze. “In any case, Mr. Gently, I must say that these are quite well done, considering the circumstances.” 

She carefully applied some medicated ointment and redressed the wound with fresh bandages. “The area’s a little redder than I’d like, and there’s a stitch or two that looks a bit strained, but I don’t see anything too alarming for now,” she assured. “I’d ease off on moving around as much as I’m guessing you have been for a few days, but if you keep it clean and change dressings regularly, it should be ready to have those stitches taken out in a week or so.”

“Oh, that’s good to hear, Doctor,” Mr. Gently said. “Todd will be so relieved to hear that you won’t need to chop my leg off.” 

Beatriz chuckled. Everything that came out of this guy’s mouth was wholly unexpected. “You can tell your friend that you’re probably safe for now,” she said with a quirk of her lips as she peeled back the bandage on his left arm. “Let’s take a look at your other injury, too… Hmm, this cut actually doesn’t seem to be doing quite as well. You told the nurse it’s been three days since you got that?”

“Roughly speaking,” Mr. Gently replied with a squint and a tilt of his head. “It’s a bit difficult to pinpoint exactly given the circumstances.”

“I won’t ask,” Beatriz said, raising an eyebrow at her patient before turning back to scrutinize the cut. “It hasn’t really done any closing yet, and there’s a bit more swelling and discharge than I’d like, so I think what we’ll do is get this cleaned up a bit more, and then I’ll put in a few stitches to help it along. And given your low-grade fever, I’ll also prescribe you a course of antibiotics to try and stem whatever infection might be taking hold.”

With that, she soaked a stack of gauze squares in a tray of antiseptic solution, squeezed the excess solution from the squares, and used each square to wipe across the length of cut and the surrounding skin. Her patient winced with each swipe, clenching his fists, but remained still and silent.

“Out of curiosity, where did you learn to suture like that if you’ve never been to medical school?” she asked as she worked, trying to distract him from the pain of her intervention.

Dirk blinked, apparently taken aback by her simple question, before he pointed down at his left leg, where a crooked scar ran from just above the base of his ankle to half way up his shin. “I had a bit of a run in with a fence about sixteen years ago,” he explained. “Couldn’t make it to hospital, but I had an assistant with me who knew what she was doing and helped me improvise some stitches to make do. It’s come in handy several times since.”

“That sounds like trial by fire,” Beatriz said, impressed. “All right, Mr. Gently, I’m going to apply some local anaesthetic near your wound so that my stitching won’t hurt you.” “That’s very kind,” Mr. Gently said, cracking his first smile since she entered the room. “You have such a great bedside manner.”

“Thanks, sir,” she said, feeling herself blush, “I’m still in training — only a resident.”

“Well you’re still the nicest doctor I’ve ever met,” he replied, “and believe me, I’ve met more than my fair share.”

“I can’t imagine what kind of life you lead, Mr. Gently, that brings you to our doors so often,” Beatriz mused, shaking her head slightly as she picked up a syringe loaded with anaesthetic and carefully began injecting doses into the skin immediately above and below the cut. 

He paused pensively, as if thinking about how best to phrase his answer. “I’m a leaf in the stream of creation,” he said finally, “but sometimes the water’s a bit choppy.”

Beatriz paused in her preparation of the suture thread at his words, unexpectedly moved by the depth of emotion he put into his cryptic words. “Well in that case, Mr. Gently, I hope that the currents will lead you to peace,” she replied after a moment, as she brought the suture thread up to Dirk’s arm and began her first stitch, “at least for a little while.”

“Thank you, Doctor,” he replied, beaming. “I hope the same to you, too. Sometimes it’s all any of us can hope for.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Dirk's choice to go by his last name is an indirect reference to Mr. Bean, but I also think that he's probably wary of most doctors so wouldn't be as friendly as he is with others.
> 
> \---
> 
> Next Chapter: Todd and Farah go thrift shopping


	10. Chapter 10

“Let me get this straight,” Farah said, clad in sweatpants and a loose t-shirt as she settled into the passenger seat of amboolents across from Todd, “the first thing you want to do with me after I’ve been discharged is to take me thrift shopping?”

“Well, it’s either that or you’re stuck wearing Tina’s clothes for the next week,” Todd countered as he pulled out from the parking spot. 

“It kinda fits,” Farah mused, looking down and tugging at her shirt, “but point taken.”

“Besides,” Todd continued, “there’s something I want to get for Dirk, and I was hoping to get your input on it.”

“Oh?” said Farah, perking up in interest. “Do tell!”

“You’ll know it when you see it,” Todd replied furtively.

“Fine, keep your secrets,” Farah said. “How is Dirk anyway? Have you figured out what was going on between you?”

“Dirk is infuriating and complicated, as he always is,” Todd grumbled. “I think we resolved what had been going on… he’s been under this crazy guilt complex thinking that everything bad that’s happened is his fault and that he’s got to pay everyone back somehow — ”

“Sounds familiar,” Farah quipped.

“We got past that… I think,” Todd continued, feeling his face grow warm as he briefly took his eyes off the road to flash a glare in Farah’s direction. “But then he stupidly tries to brush off a fever even though he’s barely three days out from being shot and I don’t think he’s been sleeping. I had to practically drag him kicking and screaming to the hospital.”

“Is that where he is now while you and I go secret Dirk shopping?” Farah teased.

“Farah!” 

“OK, sorry, that was in poor taste,” Farah said, raising her hands placatingly. “Look, I understand your concern, Todd — frankly, I share it, too. Based on everything you’ve told me and everything I’ve seen, it seems like he hasn’t stopped to breathe since we went to look for Arnold Cardenas. And he had a bit of a breakdown when I first woke up two nights ago over similar feelings of guilt that you described. But these things don’t just get fixed overnight, right? Even if you did manage to get him to acknowledge consciously that things weren’t his responsibility, it’s probably going to take a while before it sinks all the way in. I mean, you’re still dealing with your guilt about Amanda, right?”

“But that’s different,” Todd said.

“Sure it is,” Farah said flatly. “But can we just acknowledge that, even though the two of you have started to talk through the issues between you, that you still feel an immeasurable amount of guilt towards her? Guilt just seeps into your bones. It takes _a lot_ to root out completely.” 

Todd sighed. “I just thought it would get easier,” He admitted. “I mean, we basically confessed our love for each other this morning — ”

“What?!” Farah cried.

“Well, he had a breakdown this morning too, and it was the only thing I could think of to help!” Todd said. “It did, but maybe not as much as I’d thought.” 

“Hey, you did help, I’m sure of it,” Farah replied with a smile, before breaking into a chuckle. “Oh my God, Tina was right. She totally predicted that there was something going on between the two of you.”

Todd felt his face grow warm again, and stole another glance at Farah from the corner of his eye, unsure how to broach the question on his mind. “Are you… OK with all this?” he asked finally.

Farah looked back at him quizzically. “What? Why wouldn’t I? She said.

“Well,” Todd said hesitantly, “after what happened between us, I wasn’t sure…”

“Todd,” Farah interrupted. “You’re a very good friend, and I care about you a lot. But what happened between us has made me realize that friendship is all that I want from you. Besides, you and Dirk are both dear to me. If this development brings you both happiness, then you can count me as your official number one shipper.”

“‘Shipper’?” Todd asked, raising an eyebrow.

“Hey, don’t knock it,” Farah said defensively. “A girl’s got to have some hobbies.”

\---

Todd pulled into a parking spot next to the local Goodwill store just off the main street fifteen minutes later. He got out, opened the back door of the amboolents, unfolded the wheelchair from the back, and wheeled it to the passenger side where Farah had popped open the door.

“I hate this so much,” she grumbled as Todd helped her slowly into the chair.

“It’s only for a week,” he said. “And Tina will be leaving the hospital tomorrow, so you’ll be able to keep each other company. It’ll be over before you realize.”

“That’s easy for you to say,” she said with a snort. “You’re not the one stuck in this thing. It just makes me feel so powerless.”

“It’s either this, or being stuck indoors for the entire time,” Todd replied. “And I’ll be here to help you with anything you need.”

“That’s exactly my point,” Farah groaned. “It’s incredibly frustrating to need help just to get out of a car.”

“Farah, you literally defeated a magical evil overlord in a feat that would have put James Bond to shame just a few days ago,” Todd chided. “I think you’ve earned a break to recover from that. Just try to relax and let me help you, OK?”

“Fine,” Farah relented, “but I reserve the right to complain about this as much as I want.”

“Noted,” Todd said with a smile as he propped open the door and wheeled her inside the store.

“Where should we start?” Farah asked, taking the many racks that lined the store anxiously. “I’m not really a fan of clothes shopping, so you’re going to have to take the lead on this one.”

“Amanda and I used to go thrift shopping all the time when we were teenagers,” Todd said with a wistful smile as he wheeled them toward the line of women’s shirts and blouses. “We had a strategy for maximum efficiency down pat. I think for today’s purposes, though, we can just start by getting some stuff for you.”

He started scanning the rack for shirts that looked like they would reasonably fit, and started pulling them out to show Farah.

“Just pick some shirts that are soft and don’t require me to lift my arms over my head,” Farah said with a roll of her eyes as Todd started to strike a dramatic pose, alternating between the two shirts in each hand. “We’ll probably only be here for a week more, there’s no need to be anything beyond functional.”

“OK, fine,” Todd said, putting back the pullover, and slinging a couple extra soft cotton button-down blouses over his arm. “So what are your plans after the week’s up?”

“Well, we should all be well enough to travel by that point, and we’re no longer on any most wanted lists,” Farah said. “I know better than to imagine that this is the last we’ve heard of Blackwing, but I think the current cloud has passed us, so we won’t need to hide anymore. Given this, I think I’d want to head back to the Spring mansion first to properly check on the state of everything, and check on Lydia.”

“And after that?” Todd asked, pausing as he sifted through a nearby rack of pants.

“Well,” said Farah, meeting Todd’s eyes with a smile, “if everything is still intact, and if you and Dirk are still up for it, I’d like to continue with my plan for investing in the detective agency.”

“Really?”

“Aside from Lydia, the two of you are the most important people in my life right now,” Farah said. “I’m not going to walk away from either of you just because this case is over. I think we’ve got something special going, you know?”

Todd smiled gratefully. "That's such a relief to hear," he said as he picked out a couple pairs of soft loose black yoga pants. "You know, as crazy as these last few months have been, I almost feel like everything that happened before meeting you and Dirk happened to another person. I don't know how I could go back to that life. It's good to know that I won't have to."

"I know I'm in this for the long haul," Farah said, before leaning back in her chair and eyeing the stash of clothes Todd had accumulated on his arm with amusement. "I think we've got enough stuff for me. Are you going to tell me now what you've got in mind for Dirk?"

"Fair enough," Todd said, approaching behind Farah’s chair and starting to push her toward the racks holding outdoor wear. "I was thinking of getting Dirk a jacket, to replace all of the ones that he's lost. He should have something to wear other than Mona all the time."

Farah gasped. "That's a perfect idea!" she said appreciatively. "It'll be such a fitting present to accompany our news about the detective agency."

"We’ll need to find something colorful," Todd said. "It won't be the same if it's just something normal-looking."

Farah frowned. "But all of the leather jackets in this aisle are either black or brown," she lamented. "Brown is too normal, right?"

"Yeah, probably," Todd said, frowning and looking around the store for ideas. His roaming eyes found a bright, gaudy, rainbow-colored faux-leather handbag decorated with thick tassels on the sides, and he grinned. "Let's just get a black jacket in Dirk's size,” he said as he walked over to the handbag. “I think I've got an idea."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The bit about the jacket in the chapter is inspired by this lovely piece of [art](https://pixeliis.tumblr.com/post/617054801710268416/todd-totally-made-the-jacket-dirk-wears-at-the-end) by [pixeliis](https://pixeliis.tumblr.com/).
> 
> \---
> 
> Next Chapter: Dirk helps Tina with some hair trouble.


	11. Chapter 11

Dirk paused mid-step as he spotted Tina through the door to her recovery room. She was propped upright in her bed, grimacing in frustration, with her right hand clenched tightly into a fist in her sling, and her left tugging fruitlessly at a comb that had become tangled in her hopelessly knotted hair. He glanced down at the plastic bag containing the bag of peanuts for the Sheriff and the carton of strawberry milk he had bought for her from the vending machine downstairs, debating whether or not to step inside. On the one hand, he was afraid of intruding on a moment of privacy, but on the other, perhaps he could offer her some assistance to ease her discomfort.

The decision was taken out of his hands when Tina glanced back through the door at him and hollered: "Well don't just stand there, come on in!"

With an awkward shuffle juggling the bag with the door and his crutches, Dirk stepped inside and propelled himself toward her bedside table. "Hi, Tina," he said sheepishly as he pulled out the carton of milk and placed it on the table, keeping his eyes averted from her ongoing struggle. "Sorry for disturbing you. I just wanted to drop off some additional supplies for you. I can leave you to it, if you’d prefer."

"Thanks, Dirk," Tina said tiredly. "You don't have to leave. It's just hard, dealing with hair when you've only got one hand. I wish my other one weren't so useless right now!"

Dirk raised his eyes slowly and caught her gaze. "If you want, I could try to help," he offered hesitantly.

"Sure, be my guest!" Tina exclaimed, waving him closer. "Anything you can do has got to be better than this!"

"All right," Dirk said, moving closer and reaching for a water bottle on the table. "This might be a bit weird, but I promise you it's going somewhere." 

He uncapped the bottle, and wetted his fingers with it, before gently bringing his fingers up to pat at the worst of the knots in her hair. Once her hair was moistened, he reached into a trouser pocket and pulled out a small bottle of coconut oil, squeezed out a dab, before working it carefully into her hair as he had done with the water. Gripping Tina’s hair above the worst knot tightly with one hand and working steadily with painstaking movements using his other, he started to thread his fingers into the hair, slowly easing the knots loose enough to pull the comb away from the mass.

"Impressive," Tina muttered as she eyed Dirk's progress appreciatively. "How did you learn how to do that? And why do you just happen to have coconut oil randomly on you?"

"The coconut oil’s for Farah, but I’m sure she won’t mind donating some for this cause. As for me, my hair used to be a lot longer and more prone to tangling than it is now," Dirk said simply, keeping his eyes fixed on her hair and hoping that she wouldn’t press his reticence. Memories of cold nights spent under bridges flashed through his mind. "I had to pick up a few tricks to avoid infestations."

Tina raised her eyebrows at his answer, but graciously didn't press the subject. Instead, she tilted her head and fist-bumped his arm softly. "You know, for the longest time, I couldn't get why Farah and Todd kept hanging around you," she said. "I think I'm finally starting to get why."

Dirk raised his eyebrows in surprise. "Oh? Please enlighten me, because that is a persistent source of my bafflement." 

“You know, most of the time, I can’t tell whether you’re being serious or just making fun of me,” Tina said, narrowing her eyes.

“What?” Dirk said, feeling as bewildered as Tina sounded. “I’m always serious. ‘Serious’ is my middle name.”

“Sure, whatever.” she said, waving her hand dismissively. “I just meant that underneath all that loud, rude, crazy pretense that you put on — ”

“It’s _not pretense — ”_

“ — you’re actually quite kind,” Tina continued, unphased by Dirk’s interruption. “Like, take the care packages — thanks for those, by the way. How did you know that I liked strawberry milk and coloring anyway?”

“Oh, it’s nothing really, just a hunch,” Dirk said with a shrug, picking up the comb again, now that he had loosened the worst of the tangles with his fingers. “You ordered strawberry milk when we went to Arnold Cardenas’s diner for breakfast last week — even though chocolate was also available. And as for the colouring, I saw that you had a spare pack of coloured pencils on your desk at the police station when I went to tidy it up — ” 

“Wait, you went to clean up the mess from the afterparty at the station?” Tina interrupted in shock. “Did Todd drag you into that?”

“No, of course not,” Dirk said, pausing his combing. “Todd was busy with other things here. I did it myself a few days ago… didn’t quite get a chance to finish it properly, now that I think about it… I should go back — ”

“Dirk, that station hasn’t been cleaned ‘properly’ for as long as I’ve been there,” Tina said. “And that’s included more than a few unfortunate bodily function explosions that I’ll spare you from describing. You really didn’t have to do all that.”

“Well, it was my fault the station was turned upside down in the first place,” Dirk said. “I just wanted to put things right there, and to express my gratitude for the kindness that you’ve shown me, despite my tendency to just blow everything up.”

“That wasn’t you,” Tina said. “It was Suzie Boreton gone off the deep end!”

“But — ”

“Look, I’m not exactly invested in making you feel good like Farah and Todd are, and I’m not going to tell you something just because I think you want to hear it,” Tina said. “So believe me when I say that you’ve been incredibly nice to us all since we landed in the hospital — we’ve all noticed, and we all appreciate it. And as for the cause, you shouldn’t blame yourself for any of that crazy shit… we’re just glad you guys were around to help us fix it.”

Dirk nodded, running the comb through Tina’s now tangle-free hair one last time. “All done,” he said quietly. “You’ll probably want to wash all that oil out of your hair when you get the chance, but it should be alright for now.”

“See?” Tina said, turning to meet Dirk’s gaze with a smile. “What a life saver!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter: In which nail painting happens, and Dirk tells the story of PUFFLES the horse.


	12. Chapter 12

When Farah and Todd opened the door to Hobbs's house later that afternoon, they were greeted by the sound of cooing and loud purring. On stepping into the living room, they saw Dirk curled on the edge of the couch, propping up a bulky laptop with one hand, and scratching the chin of Hobbs's ginger long-haired cat that was perched on his lap with the other. From the laptop screen, they could see Hobbs's pixellated face via an ongoing video call.

"See? Mustard is in great shape, though very much missing her daddy," Dirk said, wincing as Mustard stood up in his lap a bit too close to his thigh, then smiled as the cat head-butted his outstretched palm and stalked closer to the laptop to meow at the video.

"Oh, who's a good girl? You are, my pumpkin!" came Hobbs's voice through the tinny speaker. "Thank you so much for taking such good care of her. It takes a big weight off to see her in such good shape, and I’m so glad that you two are getting along so well!"

"I think she's taken a liking to me! She's definitely a sweetheart," Dirk replied as he glanced up. "Oh, hi Todd, hi Farah! Sheriff, Todd and Farah have just come back from their top secret adventure!"

"Not so secret," Todd deflected as he wheeled Farah next to the couch and deposited the bags of clothing on the coffee table. "We were just getting Farah some clothes for the next few days. Dirk, would you mind keeping Farah company for a bit while I figure out what we're all going to do about dinner?"

"You go on, Dirk, I should go on my end, anyway," Hobbs said. "The nurse just came in and is looking to poke things at me. I'll see you tomorrow!"

"Take care, Sheriff!" Dirk said, picking Mustard up into a cuddle and waving her paw at the camera as Hobbs ended the call. Looking up, he smiled sheepishly at Todd and Farah. "I visited Tina and him after getting looked at — it's all fine by the way, Todd, no need for premature amputations — and he was asking about Mustard. I thought this was the easiest way to assure him of her wellbeing."

"That's so sweet of you, Dirk," Farah said, blinking bemusedly as Mustard darted off as soon as she reached out a hand in greeting, "and you're right, she has taken a liking to you."

"Don't take it personally," Todd said, before shuffling into the kitchen. "Mustard did nothing but hiss at me the first night I was here. She still hides from me when she hears me around."

"Oh, I'm sure it's just a coincidence," Dirk said with a shrug as he shifted closer to Farah’s chair. “So, what would you like to do?”

“Well,” Farah said with a grin as she stuck her hand into her pocket and pulled out several bottles of nail polish, “I was hoping that you’d indulge me in that manicure session that you promised me a few days back.” 

Dirk beamed in surprise. “Really?” he asked, “If you’re sure, then certainly. Though I have to warn you now, I’ve only done this once before, and I was terrible at it.”

“Don’t worry, Dirk,” Farah assured. “It’s the process that I enjoy, more than the end product. Besides, I can start with your nails first.”

“But, shouldn’t you go first — ” Dirk began protesting.

“Dirk, remember what we said about friends letting friends pamper _each other_?” Farah interrupted with a raised eyebrow. “And this way, seeing how I do it will hopefully help to inform your process. Now pick a color!”

“Yellow! No, Blue!” Dirk cried, before bringing both hands as fists up against the sides of his head. “Oh, I don’t know, I can’t pick!”

“That’s OK, we can do both,” Farah said, setting the two colors aside and picking up the bottle of base coat. She shook the bottle briefly, then unscrewed the cap, before reaching out a hand to Dirk. “Let’s start with your right hand.”

With uncertainty clouding his expression, Dirk slowly brought both hands back to his lap and placed his right hand in hers with fingers extended.

“Trust me,” Farah said. Though his eyebrows were furrowed in concentration and it was obvious that he was trying to keep as still as possible, she could feel his fingers trembling slightly in her hand. With a calming smile, she gently squeezed his hand before she began to apply a coat to his thumbnail. “It’ll turn out great, I promise. I’ve done this lots of times.”

“No, it’s not that,” Dirk said with a shake of his head, his eyes fixed on Farah’s steady brushwork. “It’s just… I’ve never been on the receiving end like this before, and I don’t want to blow it.”

“It’s just nails, Dirk,” Farah said, dipping the brush back into the bottle. “Even if something were to happen, the stakes for this could not be lower.”

Dirk let out the breath that he had been holding. “When you put it like that, it does give some perspective,” he said, meeting her eyes finally and giving a small smile. “Sometimes it’s nice to just do something with negligible consequences.” 

“Yeah, it’s part of why I like this so much,” Farah said as she switched her focus onto Dirk’s other fingers. “I can just start painting, and get in the zone...and then the rest of the world kind of just falls away. It’s just me, the nails, and the next coat of polish.”

“Maybe I should just keep quiet then, so you can get into your zen zone faster,” Dirk said.

“No, don’t do that, Dirk,” Farah admonished. “If I’d wanted silence, then I would have just painted my own nails. Tell me a story.”

“A story?” Dirk asked. “You mean about a case?”

Farah nodded as she gestured for Dirk’s other hand.

Dirk’s brow creased in thought as he offered Farah his left hand. “Oh, I know! I can tell you about how I got my original yellow jacket! It was the first of my collection, actually. Though I suppose given the current circumstances, I’ll have to get a replacement for all of my jackets one of these days.”

“I’ve got a hunch that something’ll turn up soon,” Farah said, biting her lip to suppress a grin.

Dirk tilted his head and peered at her curiously for a moment before continuing with excitement lighting up his eyes. “Right, where was I? Oh, yes, jackets. Very long story short, until meeting you, it hailed as my greatest case. One of deception, danger, double crosses, an all-round perversion of high emotion, and dare I say it, romance. 

“PUFFLES the horse had faked, yes _faked_ , his death by chewing off a bit of his own tail and leaving it behind while he absconded down the A69 at three o’clock in the morning. He — ”

“Wait, what?” Farah interrupted as she picked up the bottle of canary yellow polish. “How could a _horse_ possibly fake its own death. How would it be smart enough to figure out something like that?”

“Excellent question, Farah,” Dirk said. “The answer is quite simple: when I said that PUFFLES was a horse, I only meant that he looked like a horse from the outside, human eye. In reality, Pytho Umbracht of the Fearsome Fortified Legion of Elsus Septus was an equine cyborg from the Sagittarius Dwarf Galaxy who had been stranded on this planet four hundred years ago and was doing his best to make do with a tough situation. It had been a reasonably good life, for the most part, according to him — days spent frolicking in fields and munching on whatever shrubbery that was close, and nights spent in a warm, hay-cushioned stable with as many treats as he could possibly want. And all he had to do was do well in local dressage competitions that came around every once in a while, which was, for him, quite trivial.”

“OK, so I guess I can’t draw the line at aliens,” Farah muttered to herself as she switched to the sky blue bottle for the alternating nails, before asking: “so if it was so cushy, why did he end up faking his own death?” 

“Well, he had heard his human complaining about a new competitor thirty miles down the road that appeared to match his long-lost partner, RUFFLES,” Dirk explained. “You have to understand that PUFFLES and RUFFLES had been eternally promised to each other centuries before they had been stranded here, but that PUFFLES had no idea that his beloved had survived the initial crash landing. Once news had finally reached him of the possibility of RUFFLES’s continued existence, PUFFLES simply had to investigate for himself.”

“So how did you get involved in all this?” Farah asked.

“I’d been hitchhiking my way up to Inverness when I got stuck in the town of Haltwhistle because of an apparently completely unrelated event,” Dirk said. “Every yellow item within a 50-mile radius of there had vanished — every piece of clothing, all the curtains, and stationary, and wallpaper… all the yellow flowers from nearby florists… even all of the yellow shop signs, traffic diversion signs, and construction equipment nearby. And they all turned up in a field just off the River Irthing two days later, arranged in a giant fan shape. Very unusual, right?”

“It’s just the kind of thing I’d expect you to get sucked into, Dirk,” Farah said fondly.

“Well, while I was investigating the Fan of Yellow, I found out about the Death of PUFFLES, and found that these seemingly random events were in fact intricately connected.”

“Of course they were,” Farah said with a laugh, “but how?”

“Do you know what bower birds are?” Dirk asked suddenly.

Farah blinked bemusedly, not expecting this _non sequitur_. “No, what are they?”

“They’re a delightful species of bird native to Australia who build these elaborate nest-like structures decorated with lots of bright blue objects as part of their courtship ritual,” Dirk explained. “Apparently the cyborgs of Elsus Septus have a similar ritual, but their preferred color is yellow, which is very rare to behold on their homeworld, or so I’m told.

“PUFFLES had made this Fan of Yellow to attract RUFFLES’s attention and try to find him. He didn’t know exactly where RUFFLES was located, beyond the vaguest of descriptions that he had overheard from his human caretaker. Anyway, the Fan of Yellow led me to PUFFLES, and after learning his story, I was determined to help him find RUFFLES. And we did, though in hindsight I do wonder if that was the best outcome.”

“Why do you say that?” Farah said, as she switched to the bottle of top coat polish.

“Turns out that RUFFLES had known all along where PUFFLES had been — had spent all those centuries hiding from him in fact, because it was RUFFLES who had sabotaged their ship and stranded them in the first place! He didn’t want to go back to the Fearsome Fortified Legion and he also didn’t love PUFFLES the same way that PUFFLES loved him.”

“That’s so tragic,” Farah said, pausing mid-stroke. “Reunited after all those years, only to be spurned like that.”

“Yes,” Dirk agreed, nodding. “I suppose the universe wanted the case to be solved, but sometimes I wonder if PUFFLES would have been better off not knowing what happened.”

“My mom always says that ‘all knowledge is worth having,’ even if it hurts,” Farah said. “You did good, Dirk. At least PUFFLES wasn’t living a lie anymore.” 

“I suppose so,” Dirk replied with a smile. “He decided to go back to his life as a horse with the human caretaker. At least there were the open fields and central-heating-equipped stables to look forward to there. And RUFFLES decided to go up north to Scotland… I think he now haunts one of the lochs there as resident kelpie.” 

Farah chucked. “OK, but you still haven’t explained how you got your jacket out of all this!” she said.

“Oh, isn’t it obvious?” Dirk said. “PUFFLES agreed to deconstruct his Fan of Yellow and return all of the items that he had commandeered to make it, but he bequeathed me one of the yellow jackets that he had amassed for his fan.”

“That is so incredible,” Farah said as she finished up the last touches of the top coat. “Of course buying from a store would have been far too mundane an origin story for your first jacket.”

“In my defense, I did buy the others in a real store after Patrick Spring hired me,” Dirk said.

“So that’s what you did with all that bonus,” Farah said, looking down to do one last inspection of the Dirk’s fully painted nails, glistening with alternating blue and yellow paint. “Well, I think we’re done with you. We’ll have to wait 15 minutes while they dry before you get started with mine, but I think that counts as a success.”

Dirk looked down and wiggled his fingers appreciatively. “This is marvelous! I can’t wait to show Todd!” he said with a grin, before his expression softened. “Thank you so much, Farah.”

“They’re just nails, Dirk,” she said again, feeling her cheeks blush at the earnestness of his smile.

“Thanks for the nails, yes, but also for actually listening,” Dirk said. “It means a lot.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The [Sagittarius Dwarf Galaxy](http://atlasoftheuniverse.com/sattelit.html) is actually the nearest of the galaxies to the Milky Way.
> 
> Bower bird nests are indeed [amazing](https://animals.sandiegozoo.org/sites/default/files/2016-10/bowerbird_satin_nest.jpg).
> 
> \---  
> Next Chapter: 
> 
> Todd and Dirk go to see Amanda.


	13. Chapter 13

Todd was mid-stitch affixing a bright orange strip of leather to the sleeve of the jacket he and Farah had bought from the thrift store when the phone in his pocket started ringing for the first time in days.

He dropped his stitchwork with a jolt, then scrambled to pull the phone out of his pocket and up to his ear.

“Amanda?” he called into the speaker.

“Hey loser,” she greeted. “We’re about an hour outside of town. Let’s meet at that stranded boat in forty-five minutes?”

“Uh, OK, sure,” Todd said as he stood up and fumbled for the keys of the amboolents on the bedside table.

“‘K, see you soon,” Amanda replied, and then hung up before Todd could say anything further.

Sighing, Todd tucked the leather jacket and sewing kit away under the bed and shuffled out of the bedroom toward the front of Hobbs’s house.

Dirk was perched on the sofa with Mustard purring softly on his lap, clad in his shirtsleeves and a navy tie decorated with tiny cactuses, typing intently at his cell phone. At the sound of Todd’s approaching footsteps, Mustard darted off into the kitchen, and Dirk looked up and rose with a smile, hopping over to give Todd a quick peck on the cheek. “Going somewhere?” Dirk asked.

“Yeah,” Todd replied. “Amanda called and said that she wants to meet up by ‘The Infant, Male, Pollock, Francis’ before she and the Rowdy 3 head off back on the road.”

Dirk tilted his head slightly in thought, before asking, “Can I come with you?”

Todd blinked in surprise. “You don’t have to,” he said. “It’s probably not going to be the easiest of conversations.”

“I want to be there for you if I can,” Dirk replied, slipping his hand into Todd’s and threading their fingers together. “Is that all right?”

Todd smiled and reached his free arm around Dirk for a hug. “Thanks.”

Todd turned and picked up Dirk’s crutches that had been propped by the coffee table, and when he turned back to face Dirk, he saw that Dirk was now wearing Mona's yellow jacket form.

"Here you go, Dirk," Todd said, handing the crutches over. "Try not to hop too far away from your crutches all the time."

"But it's so much faster to just hop indoors," Dirk replied, "and I've got furniture to prop me up."

"Yeah, but you don't want to get stranded somewhere out of reach from them with no way to move around," Todd said as he opened the front door for Dirk.

"I won't be stranded. You'll be there to help," Dirk said simply.

Todd felt his face grow warm as he followed Dirk toward the amboolents and helped him into the front seat. He kept his eyes fixed on the steering wheel as he climbed in and started the car.

"So, tell me why you're so uneasy about meeting Amanda and sending her off," Dirk said as they pulled out from the driveway.

Todd sighed. "It's just… our last phone call didn't exactly end on the best of terms," he said. "She’s just planning to drive off randomly with the Rowdies, with no idea of her destination, no scope of how long she’ll be gone, or any of that! I'm just worried about her going out to face the unknown and all that danger alone, you know?"

Dirk stared at him for several seconds with his eyebrow raised before saying flatly. "I'm sorry, Todd, but I think that's just bullshit."

Todd sputtered. "What?" he said. "How can you of all people say that, after all the crazy stuff that's happened here?"

"Yes, I'll be the first to acknowledge that the world is a confusing and dangerous place, but that doesn't mean that Amanda isn't ready for it," Dirk said. "Your sister's amazing, she's got a highly rational brain in that head of hers, and she's more than capable of handling whatever comes her way. Plus, she isn't exactly alone, is she? She's now a part of the Rowdies, and, loathe as I am to admit it, they do seem to work well together."

"But don't they attract as much craziness as you do?" Todd asked.

"Yes, I suppose, but you've never let that stop you, despite my protestations, I might add," Dirk said, before sighing. "Look, I know why this is hard for you, believe me. You’re a wonderful brother, and your protectiveness of those you love is one of your most endearing qualities. But one thing that I've learned from you these past few days is that a big part of loving someone is trusting them to make their own decisions. You don’t have to protect me from all mention of Blackwing — yes, I know about that — and you don’t have to protect her from the universe.”

He slid closer and placed a hand on Todd’s shoulder, giving it a gentle squeeze before continuing. "I know that you've spent most of your time with Amanda as her caretaker, and that this new phase of your relationship might feel different and jarring. But part of her growing up is finding independence, and part of your responsibility to her as a brother is knowing when to let go. And the fact that she is _so_ ready for this step in so many ways speaks volumes about what a wonderful job you've done to prepare her for this step.”

Todd let out a breath, and sank deeply into his seat. “OK, but how do I stop her from hating me?” he asked. “She hung up on me the last time we talked.”

“Well, the fact that she called you this morning to set up a meeting to say goodbye highly suggests that she doesn’t hate you at all,” Dirk countered. “And no matter what happens today, it’s not the end for the two of you. It's just a new beginning, and you’ll have plenty of time to work through things with her in the future, even if the format of it might end up being more phone calls and fewer hugs than you’re used to.”

“Since when did you get so wise, Dirk?” Todd asked.

“Wise? Me?” Dirk scoffed. “I never know anything, ever. It’s really quite relaxing.”

“You’re just good at pretending,” Todd said, glancing over at Dirk’s shy smile. “I’m sorry, by the way. For trying to keep the Blackwing stuff from you.”

“It’s all right,” Dirk replied, after a pause. “Like I said, your protective streak is one of your most endearing qualities. But Farah told me that ‘all knowledge is worth having, and I do think she’s right about that. Just… please don’t keep me in the dark about something like that in the future?”

"Deal," said Todd. "Thanks, Dirk."

The rest of the drive passed in silence, and soon they arrived at the same stretch of road where they had found themselves a week and a lifetime ago. Pulling into the hard shoulder, Todd stepped out and made his way to the passenger-side door, where Dirk had just hopped out, leaning on his crutches.

"So now, we wait," Todd said, glancing at the time on his phone as he leaned against the side of the amboolents.

"When is Amanda due?" Dirk asked as he closed the door and leaned against the amboolents shoulder-to-shoulder by Todd.

"Only a few more minutes, I think, if she's on time," Todd said, "Though punctuality was never her speciality."

"Well, it's good to know that she's human, just like the rest of us," Dirk said with a smile, as he stared off at the lazily flowing stream and the open field beyond them. "You know, I remember this place looking completely different from the last time we were here. I never noticed how beautiful it was."

"You… had a lot on your mind at the time, Dirk," Todd, said. "At least this gives you a chance to appreciate it now."

"Thanks for bringing me here, Todd," Dirk said.

"Anytime. We're in this together," Todd replied. "Speaking of which, what did you want to do after Bergsberg?"

"After Bergsberg?" Dirk said, apparently bewildered by the question. "You know, I'm not really one for forward planning, Todd. The universe usually takes me where I need to go."

"Yeah, but what about 'taking control of your life' and 'choosing your own moves'?" Todd said. "If you could choose your next step, where would you go? What would you do?"

"Well, it's not as if I have a home to go to. Blackwing probably ransacked whatever I had in Seattle," Dirk said, before pausing in thought. "I suppose… I'll go wherever you want to go. It's never led me astray so far. So let me turn that question back to you, Todd Brotzman. What do _you_ want to do after Bergsberg?"

Todd was interrupted from answering by the familiar sound of rumbling of the Rowdy 3 van. He leaned away from the amboolents and craned his neck as he scanned the road, spotting the van as it approached from the stretch of wooded highway in the distance. He took a deep breath, then looked back at Dirk desperately.

"How do I say goodbye to her?" he asked.

"Just tell her you love her, Todd," Dirk replied with a smile. "Everything else will fall into place."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter leads into Todd and Amanda's last scene in the show. The meeting location probably doesn't quite match, but I think it makes more sense with the rest of this story. 
> 
> \---
> 
> Next chapter: a finale with bubbly, jackets, and a toast.


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We've made it to the last chapter! 
> 
> Many thanks to all of you lovelies who have left kudos and comments, and a special shout-out to those of you who came back, followed this story, and commented on multiple chapters as it was updated. It has been such a joy to read all of your reactions and insights into the characters as the story developed, and your continued support of this story means a lot to me. 
> 
> This chapter is dedicated to all of you, and I hope you enjoy!

Dirk scanned the police station office one last time, straightened one last sheaf of paper, and heaved a sigh. He never did manage to finish the tidying that he had started two weeks ago, distracted instead by Todd's insistence that he remain sofa-ridden for the first few week after his visit to the doctor's — they had argued about who was going to take the bed while the Sheriff was still in hospital, but Dirk eventually won rights to the sofa after he noted that no matter how lumpy they were, sofas reminded him of kindness and companionship and were far more comfortable to him than beds that only harkened memories of Blackwing. Even once he was allowed to move around, Dirk had been assailed by Farah and Tina's pleas for more batches of the miso chocolate chip cookies, which had at this point not only depleted the Sheriff's supply of miso and chocolate chips twice-over (Todd had to make an emergency run to the supermarket for a special midnight request batch) but also used up all of his flour and eggs. Although he was used to just eyeballing a recipe, Dirk made sure to jot down as many details as he could remember for the Sheriff's and Tina's future reference.

"Relax, Dirk, they'll love what you've done with the place," said Farah from where she was leaning against Tina's desk, propped up by her own set of crutches.

"You can't be sure of that," Dirk said. "I might have completely ruined the Sheriff's organization scheme for the evidence room without knowing it."

"I have the greatest love and respect for Hobbs, but he wouldn't know what an organization scheme was if it came and hit him over the head," Farah replied, shaking her head. "The fact that you've put any thought into organizing that room means that it's probably in better shape than it ever has been."

Dirk let out a chuckle. "I'm glad that you approve," he said, reaching up to adjust the one decoration that they’d decided on setting up for the party: a large “WELCOME BACK!” banner in bright rainbow colours that hung from the ceiling, generously provided by Mona for easy clean-up.

“So why did we have to come in two shifts anyway?” Farah asked. “Tina was not happy when Todd told her she was going to have to wait for him to come and get her from her own apartment on the second trip.”

Dirk shrugged. “It was his idea to get Tina and the Sheriff together on the second trip,” he said. “Something about being able to surprise the both of them at the same time. By the way, how did the last few days at Tina’s go?”

“It was good,” she said, ducking her head and fingering her hair as she blushed slightly. “There was a lot of — you know — recovering. Together.”

“Oh _was_ there?” Dirk said, wiggling his eyebrows.

“There was a lot of hair braiding, and nail painting,” Farah said quickly, crossing her arms. “Tina’s very impressed that you were able to find indigo nail polish, by the way. And you know what, you have no right to talk, with all the Todd… _canoodling_ I’ve heard you’ve been up to these last few days!”

Dirk raised his hands defensively. “Noted,” he said hurriedly. “I’m just happy for you.”

“Thanks,” Farah said. “Me too.”

The sound of the amboolents pulling up outside drew their attention to the main glass doors. Moments later, Todd came in and propped the door open for the Sheriff, who walked in slowly with a cane in his right hand, and Tina, who was balanced on a single crutch under her left arm. Both were clad in their uniforms for the first time in weeks. 

"Oh. My. God! It’s spotless! I can barely recognize this place!" Tina exclaimed, rushing over to envelop Dirk in a surprisingly bone-crushing one-armed hug. "This is amazing!"

"I'm speechless," the Sheriff said softly as he took off his hat. "You've even sorted my pens." He approached Dirk and patted him on the shoulder with a fond smile. "I can't thank you enough, Dirk, for everything."

"Oh, it was nothing," Dirk replied, smiling through the tufts of Tina's hair that tickled at his nose.

"Right, I think that we've also prepared some bubbly to celebrate the occasion," Farah said as she pulled out two bottles of sparkling apple cider and six chilled flute glasses—including one for Mona.

"Aw, really?" Tina said as she took in the label on the bottles.

"Yes, really," Farah replied as she opened the first bottle and started to pour. "The important part is the celebration, and this will be just as festive."

"There sure is a lot to celebrate," the Sheriff said. "Seems like fortunes are turning for everyone. Blackwing's gone from town entirely — even the Cardenas house. I also heard that the hospital just received a $10 million donation this morning from the Spring Foundation. And now this."

"The Spring Foundation?" asked Todd. "As in Patrick Spring?"

"Lydia Spring, actually," the Sheriff replied. "The press release said something about her hearing about all the great work that the hospital does locally and the hardship that we'd encountered here recently and wanted to help."

"Really? Isn't she still in South America somewhere? What are the chances of that?" Todd asked, looking at Farah, who nodded and shrugged her shoulders in response.

"It's probably all connected," Dirk said cryptically, smiling at his glass of cider.

“Well, it’s just as well that the craziness seems to be behind us for now,” Tina said, glancing at the Sheriff as she sniffed reluctantly at her cider. “I wouldn’t want to try chasing bad guys with a crutch in my hand.”

“We’ll make it work, Tina,” said the Sheriff. “We’ll just make shifts desk-work heavy for the next little bit.”

“Are you sure you don’t want us to stick around longer?” Farah asked. “We’re not in a rush.”

“Oh, no,” the Sheriff said firmly. “No, no, no. We can both drive now without difficulty, and that’s 90% of what our patrols are usually like even under normal circumstances. No, you said yourself that you had to take care of some affairs at the Spring Mansion, Farah, and we’ve already kept you here for long enough.”

“We’ll be back though,” Farah promised. “I already told Tina that I’d be back for the corn maze in three weeks.”

“It’s a date,” Tina said, winking. 

“You’re all welcome to stop by whenever you want,” the Sheriff said. “And don’t forget, Dirk, I want regular updates about future cases, too!”

“I’ve got your number,” Dirk said with a smile and a nod.

“And don’t forget that you owe me a copy of your unreleased album, Brotzman!” Tina said, elbowing Todd lightly.

“Sure,” Todd said with a shrug. “Someone might as well get some joy out of it. I’ll send it along with Farah.”

“So we know that Farah and Todd are going back to sort out their finances and homes once they get back to Seattle, but what are your plans, Dirk?” the Sheriff asked.

“Oh,” Dirk said, caught unprepared for the question. He looked down at his glass and tried to focus on the trails of bubbles as they rose through the amber liquid. “I suppose I’ll have to sort out living arrangements also… I wouldn’t be surprised if Blackwing had confiscated everything in the flat after they took me. But, em, after that, cases usually find me, really. And I’ve also got to do something about replacing my jacket.”

“Funny you should say that,” Todd said, and Dirk could hear his footsteps, followed by the rustle of a plastic bag. “Farah and I had some ideas about helping with both of those goals.”

Frowning in confusion, Dirk raised his head to look back at Todd and was greeted by the most amazing leather jacket he had ever seen in his life. Most of it was sleek black, but on each arm was stitched a rainbow of stripes that had matched all of Dirk’s favourite colours.

“It’s a little present from both Farah and me,” Todd said as he and Farah adopted matching grins.

Dirk’s hands flew to his mouth as he shrieked with delight, spilling cider all over his arm in the process. “Todd! Farah! You made this for me?” he cried, before launching himself at the both of them and enveloped them into a tight three-way hug, spilling more cider on everyone. In the distance, Dirk could hear Tina cheering in delight for them.

Feeling the sticky dampness seeping into his arm and front, Dirk pulled back and lamented. “Oh dear, I’ve made a mess of things again.”

“Don’t worry, Dirk,” said Farah, stepping toward one of the desks to grab a stack of paper towels and dropping them over the puddles on the floor. “It’s nothing that we can’t fix with a little water. And I think that miraculously, the jacket is still spotless. You should try it on.”

“But I’ll get cider all over it — ” Dirk protested.

“Just roll up your sleeves, Dirk,” Todd interrupted, rolling his eyes and handing the jacket to Farah as he bent down to pick up and throw the cider-logged paper towels away. “It’ll be fine!”

With giddiness and self-consciousness warring inside of him, Dirk put his glass on the nearest desk, slowly unbuttoned each sleeve, and rolled them up to above the elbow, catching Todd’s stare from the corner of his eye. Taking the jacket hesitantly from Farah, he carefully slipped into it, careful to make sure that the jacket didn’t touch the stain on the front of his shirt. It fit perfectly, and Dirk felt as if he were being hugged.

“Thank you so much,” he said as he smiled, his vision blurring with tears.

“Look in the right pocket,” Farah said.

Dirk slowly stuck his trembling fingers into the right pocket of the jacket, and he felt the firm metal ridges of what felt like a key. Pulling it out, he saw a brass key with a small rectangular wooden keychain. Flipping the keychain over, he squinted down and made out the words: _Dirk Gently’s Holistic Detective Agency_ etched into its surface.

He gasped, his smile falling from his face in shock. “I don’t understand,” he said, his voice shaking as he felt tears stream down his cheeks. “What is this?”

“Ninety-two days and eighteen hours ago, we were having dinner at a diner, and I told you that I wanted to make an investment in your detective agency,” Farah said, smiling. “I was serious, and I haven’t forgotten. That’s the key to some office space that I was able to rent near downtown — one step closer to making the agency a reality.”

Dirk felt like he was floating. Never, in all the years since Blackwing — all those chaotic days chasing lost cats, alien cyborg, and mind-controlling time-travellers; all those lonely nights squatting in youth hostels, abandoned warehouses, and under bus stops — did it ever occur to him that he could ever hope to have friends to help him and a home base permanent enough to call an agency officially. Even when Farah had mentioned it before, it had seemed a cross between a joke and a dream, out of which he was abruptly pulled when Blackwing came for him once more. But now, now he was standing in a room with a key in his hand, a jacket on his shoulders, and friends by his side. All of this was _real_. The _Agency_ was going to be _real_.

He cleared his throat softly. “I’d like to propose a toast,” he said, picking up his glass again and looking around the room, meeting everyone’s eye. “I have learned that friendship is like a very good jacket. They’re both hard to come by, exceedingly useful in unexpected ways — did you know, for example, that a good jacket can protect you from exploding porcupine quills when wielded correctly? And of course, most importantly, a good friendship — like a good jacket — completes a person.

“All my life, all I ever wanted was to have a friend. And now I’m treated to such a splendour of friends, I feel so incredibly privileged. You’ve all been here for me and helped me and saved me in more ways than you can possibly imagine, and there is no way that I can possibly repay that kindness, nor even convey the depth of my gratitude.

“Together, we’ve done some extraordinary things — we’ve literally saved two worlds between the six of us, and also hopefully brought a degree of peace to some troubled skeletons. And to have the chance to see what we can all do together in our next case? And in _our_ agency? I can’t wait!

“I’d like to toast all of you,” Dirk said, taking a deep breath as he turned and looked around the room. “To Sheriff Sherlock Hobbs and Deputy Tina Tevetino, who invited me to join them on this mad adventure and stuck with me to help even when everything in this world — including myself — was falling apart. To Mona, my sister: you always help me get what I’ve needed, and I’m so glad to have you back in my life again after all these years. To Farah, my protector and my confidant: I feel so lucky to know that you’ve always got my back. And to Todd, my compass. You bring clarity to my mad, mad world, Todd Brotzman, and I’m never lost when I’m with you. 

“I wouldn’t be here if it weren’t for each and every one of you. So a thank you, and a toast, to friendship.”

“To friendship. Cheers!”

**Author's Note:**

> I am [stylish-tartan](https://stylish-tartan.tumblr.com/) on tumblr. Please come say hi!


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